Monday, February 28, 2011
7:10 PM | Written by Life in a Nutshell, aka, Kristyanna | Edit Post
Are you wondering why this one person in your life is such a thorn in your side, criticizing your every move, telling you how everything you do is wrong, that you look awful and so on. Perhaps they are always putting you down and shouting down ideas that you have. This person may be a work colleague, boss, partner, friend or neighbor. The constant bombardment of negative feedback gets you down, leads to anxiety, reduced self esteem and you can not for the life of you work out why they are so nasty and targeting you for their criticism.
Why do they behave like this and should you fight back?
I have found that people that are always criticizing others is that they are deeply unhappy, have a low self esteem and perhaps even depressed. When people are depressed, sad or insecure often the world becomes very dark and they do see the enemy everywhere. Some people are very jealous of other people's success and deeply resent it. They then start to 'act' out.
It can also be a form of projection. They project onto others what they feel about themselves. When they call you a loser, really this is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves. It is likely too that they consider this how you think about them so they get the insult out there first. The more unkind they are to you, the more distance you create between you, and this results in them trying harder to get your attention.
They feel rejected and try with inappropriate means to re-establish a connection. Look at how 'naughty children' behave when trying to get attention. The attention grabbing efforts are always negative and not positive. Is it possible this person has yet to learn these methods are not effective!
If you are an attractive, bubbly, successful, wealthy person with a nice happy home, great relationship, lovely children, nice car or any number of other things that this person does not have then this is in itself is reason for them to resent you if they are unhappy about what they lack in their own life.
When people take these pot shots at me, I generally see it for what it is. Insecurity and jealousy. I pity them and as such bear them no ill feeling. I may try to help them feel better about themselves or to gain what it is they want but do not have but ultimately if they can't quit their griping which can in the end drive even the strongest person down, then I will distance myself from them, perhaps indefinitely.
Do not let let people like this get you down and remember if you are in anyway at an advantage when compared to them their level of insecurity may make you their target.
If this person is complaining about your ideas perhaps in a work environment, then ask them for their ideas and suggestions. This tends to politely highlight the fact to them that they are complaining but not being at all productive it may also reveal surprising results in that in fact they perhaps do have ideas that may have been overlooked or gone unheard for risk of taking away someone elses lime light.
Either way, they are the ones who are unhappy, depressed, insecure, suffering from low self esteem issues. You can either elect to ignore them or help them but it is perhaps best not to fuel their misery by fighting back and slam dunking them with clever reprisals.
Written by Leah G
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