Life in a Nutshell

Top 10 Toxic Food Ingredients

2011-05-25T09:38:00.000-04:00

Processed Food Pitfalls: Top 10 Toxic Food Ingredients

By Jillian Michaels, creator of JillianMichaels.com

Most of us don’t think of the food we eat as poison, but some of the ingredients commonly found in processed foods can be considered toxic. By "toxic," I mean chemicals or highly processed ingredients that aren't good for you or can cause harm to your health. I’m talking about refined grains, trans fats, high fructose corn syrup, and all the other artificial junk you can’t even pronounce on the ingredient lists. Any food that has been canned, dehydrated, or had chemicals added to it is a processed food, and these foods make up about 60 percent of the average American diet. They’ve taken over, and we have to FIGHT BACK. Know which toxic food ingredients to avoid:

1. Palm Oil
When a regular fat like corn, soybean, or palm oil is blasted with hydrogen and turned into a solid, it becomes a trans fat. These evil anti-nutrients help packaged foods stay “fresh,” meaning that the food can sit on the supermarket shelf for years without ever getting stale or rotting. Eating junk food with trans fats raises your “bad” LDL cholesterol and triglycerides and lowers your “good” HDL. These fats also increase your risk of blood clots and heart attack. Avoid palm oil and other trans fats like the plague, and kiss fried foods goodbye too, since they’re usually fried in one of these freakish trans-fatty oils.

2. Shortening
Ditch any food that lists shortening or partially hydrogenated oil as an ingredient, since these are also evil trans fats. In addition to clogging your arteries and causing obesity, they also increase your risk of metabolic syndrome. Choose healthier monounsaturated fats, such as olive, peanut and canola oils and foods that contain unsaturated omega-3 fatty acids instead.

3. White Flour, Rice, Pasta, and Bread
When a whole grain is refined, most of its nutrients are sucked out in an effort to extend its shelf life. Both the bran and germ are removed, and therefore all the fiber, vitamins, and minerals. Because these stripped down, refined grains are devoid of fiber and other nutrients, they’re also easy to digest — TOO EASY. They send your blood sugar and insulin skyrocketing, which can lead to all sorts of problems. Replace processed grains with whole grains, like brown or wild rice, whole-wheat breads and pastas, barley, and oatmeal.
4. High Fructose Corn Syrup
The evil king of all refined grains is high fructose corn syrup (HFCS). The amount of refined sugar we consume has declined over the past 40 years, but we’re consuming almost 20 times as much HFCS. According to researchers at Tufts University, Americans consume more calories from HFCS than any other source. It’s in practically EVERYTHING. It increases triglycerides, boosts fat-storing hormones, and drives people to overeat and gain weight. Adopt my zero-tolerance policy, and steer clear of this sweet “poison.”

5. Artificial Sweeteners
Aspartame (NutraSweet, Equal), saccharin (Sweet'N Low, SugarTwin), and sucralose (Splenda) may be even harder on our metabolic systems than plain old sugar. These supposedly diet-friendly sweeteners may actually be doing more harm than good! Studies suggest that artificial sweeteners trick the brain into forgetting that sweetness means extra calories, making people more likely to keep eating sweet treats without abandon. Nip it in the bud. Scan ingredient labels and ban all artificial sweeteners from entering your mouth.

6. Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Benzoate
These preservatives are sometimes added to soda to prevent mold from growing, but benzene is a known carcinogen that is also linked with serious thyroid damage. Dangerous levels of benzene can build up when plastic bottles of soda are exposed to heat or when the preservatives are combined with ascorbic acid (vitamin C). Don’t risk it, people

7. Butylated Hydroxyanisole (BHA)
BHA is another potentially cancer-causing preservative, but it has been deemed safe by the FDA. Its job is to help prevent spoilage and food poisoning, but it’s a major endocrine disruptor and can seriously mess with your hormones. BHA is in HUNDREDS of foods. It’s also found in food packaging and cosmetics. BHA has many aliases. You can look them up. Or you can follow my advice and DITCH processed foods altogether.

8. Sodium Nitrates and Sodium Nitrites
No that’s not a typo. These two different preservatives are found in processed meats like bacon, lunch meat, and hot dogs. They’re some of the worst offenders, and they’re believed to cause colon cancer and metabolic syndrome, which can lead to diabetes. Protect your health by always choosing fresh, organic meats.

9. Blue, Green, Red, and Yellow
The artificial colors blue 1 and 2, green 3, red 3, and yellow 6 have been linked to thyroid, adrenal, bladder, kidney, and brain cancers. Always seek out foods with the fewest artificial chemicals, especially when shopping for your kids. Look for color-free medications and natural food products that don’t contain artificial colors like these.

10. MSG
Monosodium glutamate is a processed “flavor enhancer.” While glutamates are present in some natural foods, such as meat and cheese, the ones exploited by the processed-foods industry are separated from their host proteins through hydrolysis. The jury is still out on how harmful MSG may be, but high levels of free glutamates have been shown to seriously screw with brain chemistry. Don’t fall prey to chemical flavor enhancing. Just play it safe and flavor your food naturally.

Veggies & Quinoa

2011-03-31T12:19:00.000-04:00

Today, I got to experiment with some odds and ends in my kitchen. This can be interesting when it comes to me experimenting in the kitchen! I think I created a nice meal that is really inexpensive and healthy-ish!

Give it a try and let me know what you think.

Prep Time: 5 mins Cook Time: 10 mins Rest Time: 5 mins
Total Time: 20 mins

Ingredients

1 1/4 cup(s) water or chicken broth (reduced-sodium)
3/4 cup(s) Quinoa (can use brown rice)
1 1/2 cup(s) mixed vegetables
3/4 cup(s) scallion(s) (green onions), sliced
1/4 cup(s) feta cheese, crumbled
1/4 cup(s) mint, fresh, sliced (optional)

Directions

1. Bring water to a boil in a large saucepan over high heat. Add Quinoa and bring to a simmer; cover, reduce heat to medium-low and cook according to box minutes.

2. Stir in vegetables and return to a simmer over high heat. Cover, reduce heat to medium-low and continue to cook until the peas are hot and the rice has absorbed most of the liquid, about 6 minutes.

3. Remove from heat and stir in scallions, feta, and mint. Cover and let stand until the liquid is absorbed, 3 to 5 minutes.

ENJOY!

A prayer of David

2011-03-02T06:41:00.000-05:00

A good friend sent me this prayer today, and it really impacted me in a good way when I needed it most. I thought I would share... Thank you KD!

Psalm 86 -A prayer of David.

¹ Hear me, LORD, and answer me,
   for I am poor and needy.
² Guard my life, for I am faithful to you;
   save your servant who trusts in you.
You are my God; ³ have mercy on me, Lord,
   for I call to you all day long.
⁴ Bring joy to your servant, Lord,
   for I put my trust in you.
⁵ You, Lord, are forgiving and good,
   abounding in love to all who call to you.
⁶ Hear my prayer, LORD;
   listen to my cry for mercy.
⁷ When I am in distress, I call to you,
   because you answer me.
⁸ Among the gods there is none like you, Lord;
   no deeds can compare with yours.
⁹ All the nations you have made
   will come and worship before you, Lord;
   they will bring glory to your name.
¹⁰ For you are great and do marvelous deeds;
   you alone are God.
¹¹ Teach me your way, LORD,
   that I may rely on your faithfulness;
give me an undivided heart,
   that I may fear your name.
¹² I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart;
   I will glorify your name forever.
¹³ For great is your love toward me;
   you have delivered me from the depths,
   from the realm of the dead.
¹⁴ Arrogant foes are attacking me, O God;
   ruthless people are trying to kill me—
   they have no regard for you.
¹⁵ But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,
   slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.
¹⁶ Turn to me and have mercy on me;
   show your strength in behalf of your servant;
save me, because I serve you
   just as my mother did.
¹⁷ Give me a sign of your goodness,
   that my enemies may see it and be put to shame,
   for you, LORD, have helped me and comforted me.

Why Do Some People Criticize All the Time and Put Others Down?

2011-02-28T19:10:00.000-05:00

Are you wondering why this one person in your life is such a thorn in your side, criticizing your every move, telling you how everything you do is wrong, that you look awful and so on. Perhaps they are always putting you down and shouting down ideas that you have. This person may be a work colleague, boss, partner, friend or neighbor. The constant bombardment of negative feedback gets you down, leads to anxiety, reduced self esteem and you can not for the life of you work out why they are so nasty and targeting you for their criticism.
Why do they behave like this and should you fight back?

I have found that people that are always criticizing others is that they are deeply unhappy, have a low self esteem and perhaps even depressed. When people are depressed, sad or insecure often the world becomes very dark and they do see the enemy everywhere. Some people are very jealous of other people's success and deeply resent it. They then start to 'act' out.

It can also be a form of projection. They project onto others what they feel about themselves. When they call you a loser, really this is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves. It is likely too that they consider this how you think about them so they get the insult out there first. The more unkind they are to you, the more distance you create between you, and this results in them trying harder to get your attention.

They feel rejected and try with inappropriate means to re-establish a connection. Look at how 'naughty children' behave when trying to get attention. The attention grabbing efforts are always negative and not positive. Is it possible this person has yet to learn these methods are not effective!

If you are an attractive, bubbly, successful, wealthy person with a nice happy home, great relationship, lovely children, nice car or any number of other things that this person does not have then this is in itself is reason for them to resent you if they are unhappy about what they lack in their own life.

When people take these pot shots at me, I generally see it for what it is. Insecurity and jealousy. I pity them and as such bear them no ill feeling. I may try to help them feel better about themselves or to gain what it is they want but do not have but ultimately if they can't quit their griping which can in the end drive even the strongest person down, then I will distance myself from them, perhaps indefinitely.

Do not let let people like this get you down and remember if you are in anyway at an advantage when compared to them their level of insecurity may make you their target.

If this person is complaining about your ideas perhaps in a work environment, then ask them for their ideas and suggestions. This tends to politely highlight the fact to them that they are complaining but not being at all productive it may also reveal surprising results in that in fact they perhaps do have ideas that may have been overlooked or gone unheard for risk of taking away someone elses lime light.

Either way, they are the ones who are unhappy, depressed, insecure, suffering from low self esteem issues. You can either elect to ignore them or help them but it is perhaps best not to fuel their misery by fighting back and slam dunking them with clever reprisals.

Good luck!

Written by Leah G

Sinus Infection - Natural Remedies

2011-01-29T13:52:00.000-05:00

Every now and again, I end up with bad sinus infections. This one was brought on due to lack of heat for 24 hours in a snow storm plus multiple other power outages over a 3 day span. When my power came back on for good, I did some research. How can I help this sinus infection that is turning into post-nasal drip (oh how sexy). This is what I found out, tried, and discovered it worked!

Step 1:
This step might seem gross but it really does work and isn't all that bad. I took the following and adjusted it for my weight. This recipe is based on someone who weighs 100 pounds.
Mix 1/2 cup of water, 2 Tbsp of apple cider vinegar and 1/4 tsp of baking soda. Drink it twice a day.
I did this step first since it really cleared me out which made the next step that much easier. Again, I know it sounds gross, but don't knock it until you try it!

Step 2: Neti Pot
I love my neti pot. I use the standard saline solution (you can make your own with baking soda and sea salt but I can't get it quite right) and a drop of garlic oil. I only use the garlic oil if I have a sinus infection. I use half of a neti pot for one nostril and the rest for the other. Experiment with this. Some people like to use one solution for one nostril.

Hope this helps you out too! Don't forget, vitamins always help too!

Gratitude Journal (1/29/11)
I am grateful for finding someone to finish plowing my driveway.
I am grateful for home made remedies.
I am grateful for my mom's home made lentil soup.
I am grateful for having heat and electric.
I am grateful for having wonderful people in my life.

Birds Mysteriously Drop Dead over South Philadelphia

2011-01-10T12:37:00.002-05:00

Posted by Will Bunch @ 10:27 AM

Last night at around 7:45 p.m., dead eagles started dropping from the skies over South Philadelphia. Another sign of the End Times, or just a sign that another football season was ending in Philadelphia the way it always does?

You have to be philosophical. No one expected the 2010-11 Eagles to go to the Super Bowl at the start of the season, and everybody was right. You don't win an NFL championship with one of the worst offensive lines in football. or with a young defense that is decimated by injuries. But Michael Vick, DeSean Jackson, and company gave fans more excitement than we expected, so, in the end....it was what it was, and the Eagles were who we thought they were.
Pitchers and catchers yada yada yada...

Gratitude Journal (1/10/11)
I am grateful for having great friends to share the football games.
I am grateful for home made pasta sauce.
I am grateful for hot tea with fresh home made honey.

Happy New Year! 2011!

2011-01-01T07:12:00.001-05:00

As I reflect on 2010, I want to share my top 10 moments of 2010 (in no particular order).

January 2010: There is a tractor in my driveway!

February 2010: My first time snow skiing!

March 2010: Orchid Extravaganza at Longwood Gardens

June 2010: Going to the Dominican with some amazing people.

August 2010: Kissing a goat! Don't ask!

September 2010: Celebrating my Grams 95th b-day

October 2010: Zip lining and Skydiving oh my!

October 2010: Learning how to make Apple Butter

November 2010: Running in my dad's memory

December 2010: Winning best toilet paper bride!

So now that 2010 is gone, I must say, that compared to where I was last year, 2010 was a good year. Going to the Dominican was the start of great new things for me. I honestly believe I came back a new person to many people...myself. It was the first time since I moved to MD that I felt like me again. What a great feeling. After I came back, I was able to cross off some items from my bucket list, strengthen my relationship with God, enhance relationships of all kinds, and just learn to live in the moment.

So now it is time to welcome 2011 - whatever it may bring. I look forward to a year of learning, triumphs and failures, but yet still learning how to find the joy in it all. I look forward to many challenges this year with my studies, completing my doctoral degree, adding stamps to my passport, a sabbatical, my relationships with others, my family, my relatives and my career. I hope things will turn out well this year. Above all, I hope people will attain peace no matter what they are going through. I mean this from the bottom of my heart and I will continue to pray to God for the happiness of everyone. So again, Welcome 2010!

Happy New Year everyone. May it be your best year yet!

Gratitude Journal (1/1/11)
I am grateful for the 2010.
I am grateful for the wonderful events I experienced.
I am grateful for an amazing group of friends.
I am grateful for being able to look forward to 2011.
I am grateful for being able to start a new year.

Not Again...

2010-11-19T05:18:00.001-05:00

Well, November 19 managed to sneak up on me yet again. I really wish it wouldn't. Could we just remove the date from the calendar all together?

3 years ago today, I lost my dad, my best friend. People say that it gets easier, but I really haven't seen that yet. Today still affects me just as much as the years before.

I just really hope today I can make it through with as little emotion as possible. I don't want to be told by others that I should be over this already.

Here's to a day without tears...

Free to Breathe 5K a Success!

2010-11-07T17:50:00.001-05:00

Thank you to all of the generous donors and runner/walkers. Your support means so much to lung cancer patients and their families. 100% of the net proceeds from this event will support the Pennsylvania Lung Cancer Partnership's research, education and awareness programs.

A bit about the event
2245 people participated, and $243,600 has been raised so far (donations accepted until 12/31/10)!

I was able to raise 75% of my goal ($375.00 out of $500.00). You can still donate up to December 31. Just click on the link or copy and paste it into your browser! http://participate.freetobreathe.org/goto/kristyanna

Thank you all so much. Your support means the world to me!

-- I ran in memory of my Dad, George Erickson --

Click here to visit my personal page.
If the text above does not appear as a clickable link, you can visit the web address:
http://participate.freetobreathe.org/site/TR?px=1001921&pg=personal&fr_id=1318&et=weQ8x65xbUDOsr7u2wbzBQ..&s_tafId=4243

Click here to view the team page for George's Song
If the text above does not appear as a clickable link, you can visit the web address:
http://participate.freetobreathe.org/site/TR?team_id=7330&pg=team&fr_id=1318&et=8lz9v8IVegZsxZhBB-eKnA..&s_tafId=4243

Happy Birthday Dad

2010-09-27T05:05:00.001-04:00

Happy Birthday Dad! I hope you are partying up in heaven. Miss you!

Life

2010-09-24T14:59:00.001-04:00

"Life" - Our Lady Peace

How many times have you been pushed around?
Was anybody there?
Does anybody care?
How many time have your friends let you down?
Was anybody there?
Did anybody stare?

How many time have your friends let you down?
Just open up your heart
Just open up your mind
How many times has your faith slipped away?
Well, is anybody safe?
Does anybody pray?

Oh, Life is waiting for you
So messed up, but we're alive
Oh, Life is waiting for you
So messed up, but we'll survive

How many days have you just slept away?
Is everybody high?
Is everyone afraid?
How many times have you wished you were strong?
Have they ever seen your heart?
Have they ever seen your pain?

Oh, Life is waiting for you
So messed up, but we're alive
Oh, Life is waiting for you
So messed up, but we'll survive

She gets high
She gets lost
She gets drowned by the cost
Twice a day, every week, all her life

She gets high
She gets lost
She gets drowned by the cost
Twice a day, every week, all her life

Oh, Life is waiting for you
So messed up, but we're alive
Oh, Life is waiting for you
So messed up, but we'll survive
All messed up, but we'll survive

Training Continues

2010-07-16T15:52:00.001-04:00

Around tax time, I got myself an incline trainer (used of course). The gym I had been going to had closed, and I was really needing a way to work out during the terrible winter we had. I really love it! When I first got it, I used the built in workouts most often. I felt that I was making up for not going to the gym. But, my overall goal has been to improve my 5K time. My last timed 5K was run in 27 minutes 33 seconds (or a 8:53 min/miles pace). I was sort of happy with that time, for not running much, but I have been determined to improve upon that BIG time for the November race. So now, I pretty much use the TT 30 to run, however, on my "off days" I do some of the built in incline work outs. Man, what a work out. This is definitely something to think about if you are looking for a treadmill or incline trainer.

Even with this treadmill that I have been using religiously, I still wasn't seeing improvement in my time. A friend recommended the Adidas MiCoach to me. Since I have started using this, about a month ago, I have really started to improve my time and overall fitness. The idea behind this pacer is to improve your heart rate. When I started, I was too focused on time. I would run fast but messy. So while I was staying in the heart rate zones, I had a terrible pace (hence the reason why my running data hasn't been updated...too embarrassing.) With the pacer, I was forced to run smart and energy efficient. By doing this, I can now run faster at a lower heart rate. Today was my milestone though. I was able to start off running at an 8:30 min/mile keeping in the blue zone (Think of it as roughly a 3-4 level of effort on a scale of 1-10.) Then, I had to increase my HR to the green zone. In order to do this, I was able to up my run to a 7:53 pace for about 10 minutes! (The green zone is a 5-6 effort level on a scale of 1-10.) So overall, I averaged about 8:11 min/mile. That would put me at about 25 minutes 22 seconds for a 5K! The best part, my face wasn't burning up! I hope I can keep up the pace when I move outside in the fall.

Now, I am really excited for the race in November. Don't forget that you can join my team. You don't have to run if you don't want to. Some people chose to walk a 5K or even just walk a mile. Either way come on out and have fun! More info: http://participate.freetobreathe.org/goto/GeorgeSong

Gratitude Journal (7/15/10)
I am grateful for promotions, promotions, promotions!
I am grateful for having 13 months to go until I am done with grad school!
I am grateful for being able to visit Egypt in May 2011.
I am grateful for seeing friends and co-workers start to accomplish their dreams.
I am grateful for still being able to feel relaxed from my Dominican Adventure.

Father's Day

2010-06-20T09:53:00.000-04:00

I Can’t Believe You’re Gone

Dad, my sadness knows no end;
I can’t believe you’re gone;
I'm grieving for you every day;
It’s hard to carry on.

You were always there to support and care,
When I needed a true friend,
How I’ll ever do without my dad,
I cannot comprehend.

You were my teacher and my guide,
My dad, so good and strong;
Your example will sustain me now,
And last my whole lives long.

I'm trying to communicate;
I hope that you can hear;
Expressing what I feel for you,
Helps me feel you’re near.

My memories of the times we had
Help the pain to go away.
But Dad, my life won’t be the same;
I’ll miss you every day.

A part of me went with you;
You left a gap too big to fill;
You’re my father and my hero;
I love you and I always will.

Happy Father's Day, Dad. I miss you and love you.

No Problem

2010-06-14T08:07:00.002-04:00

Recently, my friends and I just got back from a much needed 8-day vacation in Punta Cana located in the Dominican Republic. While we did spend my time relaxing on the beach, we also got to experience true Dominican history and culture.

Nobody can visit the Dominican Republic without visiting Santo Domingo, the first city founded in America. Santo Domingo is also the capital of Dominican Republic. It is located at the point where the Ozama River flows into the Caribbean Sea. We visited the Cathedral of Santa Mariá la Menor (built 1514–20), believed to once hold the remains of Christopher Columbus (now located in the light house); the palace of Diego Columbus, son of Christopher Columbus and a viceroy of the island (built 1510); the Museo de las Casas Reales (built 1511) which is now a museum but was originally built to hold the government offices.

In addition to experiencing the historical aspects of the Dominican Republic, we got to experience the cultural side too. We took a drive out into the country side near Punta Cana to see how the natives made chocolate, coffee, coconut oil and milk, and cigars. The natives all paint their houses according to the color that represents a Catholic Saint.

The Dominican people are a simple people. They do have electricity and running water, but both are regulated by the government. That means, at any given point in time, they could be without running water and/or electric. They need to collect rain water and have tools that are both electric and manual.

Despite this, as we were driving around, the people still seemed very happy. We learned the Dominican motto is "no problem." What a great motto to have. So today, I will try to start living a simple life and by the Dominican motto. My goal is to only check email at most twice a day (have to because of work), log on to Facebook at most twice a week, and do my best to be worry free.

Gratitude Journal (6/14/10)
I am grateful for the Flyers great season (even if I had to miss games 4, 5, & 6).
I am grateful for having the opportunity to travel.
I am grateful for having wonderful people to travel with on my recent trip.
I am grateful for what I do have.
I am grateful for being able to feel relaxed for the first time in years.

Flyers Tribute

2010-05-30T18:25:00.002-04:00

In support and honor of the Flyers, I will be posting a few videos for encouragement!

What If?

Flyers Playoff Open 2010

Don't Stop Believing

The Lord (Stanley's) Prayer

Wake Up Philadelphia! (Flyers 2010 playoff tribute)

Philadelphia Flyers 2009-2010 Goal Horn

God Bless America

Gratitude Journal (5/30/10)
I am grateful for the Broad Street Bullies.
I am grateful for the Flyers never giving up.
I am grateful for an amazing season.
I am grateful for being able to listen to games online.
I am grateful for being able to watch the Stanley Cup Playoffs.
I am grateful that my cousin gets to go to a Stanley Cup Playoff game!

Men and Dogs Review

2010-05-25T17:46:00.003-04:00

Men and Dogs: A Novel by Katie Crouch

My rating: 3 of 5 stars
Men and Dogs is an interesting story about a girl, Hannah Legare, who still cannot deal with her father's death, even after 20+ years. She is convinced that her father isn't dead, that he just ran away. Her obsession starts to take over her life and she sabotages many relationships. She finally comes home and encounters people from her past. She desperately tries to discover what really happened to her dad so that she can finally move on with her life.

View all my reviews >>

Let's Go Flyers!!!

2010-05-24T14:58:00.002-04:00

In light of the Flyers success, here is a little prayer, compliments of my little sister. Enjoy!

Our father who art in Philly, Hockey be thy name. Thy will be done, the cup will be won, on ice as well as in the stands. Give us this day our hockey sticks, and forgive us our penalties, as we forgive those who cross-check against us. Lead us not into elimination, but deliver us to victory. In the name of the fans, Lord...Stanley, and in the name of the Flyers, Amen.

The Flyers have been the come back kids. The broad street bullies. Hopefully tonight, they can pull off another win.

5 more wins to go! Let's bring the cup back to Philly!

Gratitude Journal (5/24/10)
I am grateful for friends who supply links so I can watch the Flyers online.
I am grateful for my little sister.
I am grateful for my church family.
I am grateful for new and old dog sitting clients.
I am grateful for potentially two job promotions.

Today's Quote
Live not in what has happened, or fear of what may come tomorrow. Live well in the here and now, and treat this as your defining moment.

Rain

2010-05-17T16:41:00.000-04:00

Today is one of those tough days. We all have them. Mine started when I was running actually, which is odd for me. Normally, I will run (or bike) only to feel like a million bucks after I am done. But today, when I was running, negative thoughts and feelings captured me. Soon enough, I started thinking about how much I miss my dad. Once that door opened, I think I thought about everything that has been tough the last few days, months, and even years.

Of course, when things like this happen, I started longing to be able to talk with my dad...to talk to the one person who really understood me. There is so much that I want to tell him. So much that I want to share. Oh how I wish, I knew someone who understood how I felt. Someone who didn't look at me like I had three heads for feeling this intense loss.

Ironically, the closest I have been to someone who understands came from a tv series (I don't really watch tv). I happened to catch an episode where a parent was dying of cancer. Since then, I have been hooked, watching the episodes on the internet. I'm hooked because for once, someone else seems to understand the pain. For once, it doesn't seem like I am abnormal.

So now, I will walk to the library in the rain, hoping to hide my tears and find a book that I can completely loose myself in today. Thank goodness for the rain.

Gratitude Journal (5/17/10)
I am grateful for the rain.
I am grateful for real friends and not just social networking friends.
I am grateful for being brought up to love books.
I am grateful for feeling somewhat normal.
I am grateful for being able to stay quite busy.

Why I run

2010-05-06T10:13:00.004-04:00

Running isn't something that I used to enjoy. In fact, there are days that go by that I dread running. But, there are those days that go by where I somewhat enjoy running.

You might ask, why do I run? Well, I started taking it more seriously after my dad died. I needed to do something to honor him. So I ran in a race in his honor at the Free to Breathe event in Philadelphia. Each year, I commit myself to participating in the event. Each year, it is difficult but rewarding.

So, right now, my race list is small, but I do plan on adding to it to see how I am doing. Check back often for updated times.

Races - Upcoming and Past:
Free to Breathe 5K - Nov 7, 2010
Annual Crusader 5K - May 22, 2010
Free to Breathe 5K - Nov 2, 2009
Free to Breathe 5K - Nov 1, 2008
Cecil College 5K - Sept 2008

Patience

2010-05-05T07:47:00.000-04:00

A few months ago, I blogged about the idea of persistence and patience. Since then, I have put a lot on my plate striving to have my life work out. With all the mounds of items that I placed on this plate, I noticed yesterday that after some patience, things have been falling into place.

I have met a lot of wonderful people over the past few months. These people have touched my heart in different ways. It could be the innocent views of a child, the hard work that my students put in this semester, or even that random run in with a stranger at the grocery store. Whatever the situation, many people have touched my heart lately, and I am thankful for that.

Doors have opened for me that I thought were locked with the key thrown away. Somehow, I turned into a locksmith and got these doors to open. Who would have thought that I would have gotten an adjunct position teaching online courses for a large university? I sure didn't think I had a shot when I applied. But, I was in a different place 3 months ago. I let people tell me that my degree is a joke. I let people put me down. I believed them. Now, I am far from wonderful, but I started acknowledging my successes. I started loving myself again. (Why do I want to start saying: I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me...)

I have discovered new relationships with wonderful people that are my friends. Even though I have known some of these people for a while, stronger relationships have formed. Some of us are even going to be going on a vacation I never thought could happen. It is amazing what life has to offer.

Probably the largest accomplishment was the fact that my tests for precancerous cells finally came back negative. It took a year of struggling, a year of hardship, a year of tests, but with a little prayer, patience, and hope, things are looking normal again.

So again, I think back to what one of the people in my youth group said:

I think patience is key to achieving our goals and being a better person. It involves the act of placing our concern in the hands of our Lord, and leaving it there.

Well, I will continue on my attempt to be more patient and continue to put my trust in God and see what it will bring this time!

Gratitude Journal (5/05/10)
I am grateful for having wonderful people in my life.
I am grateful for negative test results.
I am grateful for vacations!
I am grateful for multiple opportunities.
I am grateful for having wonderful people in my life (had to mention this twice).

Let it Be

2010-04-16T07:57:00.000-04:00

I am sure that those of us who have attended mass or Sunday school has learned that forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts God has given us. But what really is forgiveness?

The past few months I have been struggling with the idea of forgiveness. Now, I have always been able to forgive quite quickly as we were raised to do so. It is the forgetting part that takes me time. I also question whether you can truly forgive if you can't forget. In a way, it seems like if you forgive but don't forget you are burying an axe with the handle still sticking out.

Henry Ward Beecher says it best. He states, “I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one.” Yet, Thomas Szasz has a good point too when we states “the stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.”

So, as I weigh what forgiveness means to me, I am torn. Does forgiveness mean to completely forget? Does completely forgetting set yourself up do be duped again? My dad somehow mastered this concept. Looks like I still have a lot to work on in this area. Maybe one day, I can be more like my dad in this area. What a remarkable man.

Gratitude Journal (4/16/10)
I am grateful for music.
I am grateful for blues skies.
I am grateful for blueberries!
I am grateful for my true friends.
I am grateful for the time I had with my Dad.

Life is a Highway

2010-04-15T09:41:00.000-04:00

Since the body is the envelope of the spirit and soul, we must begin to work from the inside out. Nourish each of them daily, in accordance to that which is good.

This is something that I have been working very hard on since my dad passed away in 2007. For those of you who have been active readers, you know that my blog was started to help me handle that loss. Now, this blog has evolved as I hope that I have too.

In efforts to live life to the fullest every day, I really worked hard on nourishing both my spirit and soul the last few years. It wasn’t a smooth ride in any way shape or form. In fact, the ride was a very bumpy one. However, through all the chaos, I learned how to sit still and meditate. What a calming effect meditation has. It is something unreal. If you haven’t tried it yet, please do!

I was also able to start going to church again and letting God be a part of my life. I don’t think I ever really understood my faith and how important it is to me until a few days ago. I have been letting my worries/questions go and trusting them to God, and somehow, I get my answers. Somehow my life starts falling into place. Unexpected doors open when others close.

I am not someone who will ever push religion on anyone, but I do have this advice for anyone who is religions/spiritual: “If your life is slipping out of control, move over and let God take the wheel. It’s when we let go and let God, that we can finally see the road ahead.” – Anonymous

I don’t have all of my questions answered yet, but I am looking forward to the journey I will be on. Along the way, I am hoping that those unanswered questions get answered. Enjoy the ride!

Gratitude Journal (4/15/10)
I am grateful for having God in my life again.
I am grateful for meditation.
I am grateful for catching up with an old friend yesterday.
I am grateful for being comfortable letting things go.
I am grateful for getting back into my skinny jeans from college.

"If you can't be direct, why be?"

2010-04-13T14:42:00.001-04:00

Today at work, I started listening to different conversations between all types of people on campus – faculty and student, student and student, faculty and faculty, etc. It seemed in most cases, I was observing conversations in which people were not direct. This is something that I have a hard time comprehending. I can't fathom why people are not direct.

At brunch today with some coworkers, “Sally” commented on a conversation with her sister, “Jane.” Jane asked Sally if she was the sort of person who would want to be told if she had broccoli in her teeth. Sally said of course and then Jane promptly replied with something like good because you have broccoli in your teeth.Why Sally’s sister couldn’t be more direct right away, I will never know. I would want to know if I had broccoli in my teeth! Wouldn't you?

"If you can't be direct, why be?" - Lily Tomlin

When I read this quote, I immediately thought about how I always wonder, today especially, why people can’t seem to say what they mean and mean what they say.Why do so many people seem to dance around the subject believing that the other person will understand what we are implying?

It seems to me that relationships of any kind would proceed much more smoothly if everyone involved would just be upfront and honest. Too often, people tend to say what they think the other person wants to hear.

I know for the most part that women tend be the culprits of dancing around topics, but we aren’t the only ones to blame here. So please everyone, male or female, do try and take a page from Dr. Seuss and “be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

I know that I’d rather be surrounded by those who state what is on their minds!

Gratitude Journal (4/13/10)
I am grateful for people who are direct.
I am grateful for promotions.
I am grateful for actually starting to enjoy running.
I am grateful for the rain today.
I am grateful for friends both new and old.

It's a Beautiful Mornin'!

2010-04-08T13:25:00.001-04:00

I woke up this morning before my alarm as usual. But, I woke up to a beautiful day. I have been in a super good mood because of it. The good weather seems to make it easier to make some tough decisions. I finally knew what I had to do today regarding something that has been on my mind for a while.

I got a ton of work done for work (well that sounds redundant). In addition, I was able to get stuff done for grad school! The more I get done, the more time I have to play this weekend!

This weekend will be fun times. I will have to get my butt moving to cut the grass and work on the new vegetable garden. I have 8 plants each of the following: spinach, cucumbers, yellow squash, green squash, lettuce, tomatoes, peppers, broccoli, and eggplant. All of these little sprouts are organic! Yummy!!!

Gratitude Journal (4/08/10)
I am grateful for the wonderful weather.
I am grateful for the getting things done.
I am grateful for being able to run outside after a winter break.
I am grateful for SPRING!!
I am grateful for being able to renew my passport. =)

Spring is in the Air

2010-03-11T10:27:00.003-05:00

I love the madness of March, and I am not referring to the college basketball tournaments. By madness of March, I mean the crazy weather, crazy holidays, etc.

I have really been loving the weather lately. It is getting me excited for spring. I even went for my first run of 2010. I didn't for any great distance, but it felt great to get out in the fresh air!

This weekend, I will be planting all types of organic seeds from peppers to tomatoes to cucumbers to lettuce and more. In addition, I will start the basic prep work on my large garden out back by the creek. I will have to add some soil and build up the ground just a bit. All this wonderful work to have delicious fresh veggies! I just love it. To me, there is something so satisfying with working outside in the yard.

Sometime next week, I think I will start cleaning out some of my flower beds to get ready for the new growth that is sprouting. =)

Bring on the spring! Here are some pictures that I took.

Gratitude Journal (3/11/10)
I am grateful for the wonderful weather.
I am grateful for the upcoming spring break.
I am grateful for being able to work outside.
I am grateful for keeping my head a float.
I am grateful for pasta.

Valentine's Day Weekend

2010-02-15T11:03:00.001-05:00

I must admit, for being single, this was by far one of the best Valentine's Day weekends ever. Technically, my weekend started on Wednesday. This gave me ample time to finish up some work for grad school. I can now enjoy about a two week break from classes.

Friday, I had dinner at a friends house in Oxford, PA. It was a great time. For some reason, the best part of the night was when my truck got stuck in my friend's driveway. I have no clue why I found this so funny, but I did. Maybe it was because I knew it was going to happen with my 2WD (rear wheel drive) truck. Maybe it was because the cop that I waved down to help claimed he couldn't and sped off down a dead end street. What ever the reason was, I was laughing so hard I was practically crying! When I got home, another one of my friends surprised me by stopping by. What a great night.

Saturday was a lazy day for me. I had a really hard time waking up, and I slept until noon. (I was out of bed from 6:30 - 8:30). That afternoon, I went to church and then had a youth group event. I really am loving working with the youth group. They are a great group of kids and a lot of fun to be around.

Sunday was an awesome day. It was a day of firsts. I went skiing for the first time! It was so much fun. I didn't get it on the first try, so I decided to sign up for lessons. My instructor was awesome. I was skiing like a pro by the end of the day. Okay, so maybe a pro isn't the best word, but I sure felt like one. I was able to control speed, turn, and even stop! I felt so accomplished! =) I think I found a new sport to participate in. So, does anyone want to go skiing sometime? I'd be up for it!

Bottom line, Valentine's Day weekend rocked! I hope everyone, single or with someone, had the opportunity to spend the day or weekend with people that are important to you. Love you all!

Gratitude Journal (2/15/10)
I am grateful for having special people in my life!
I am grateful for my church's youth group.
I am grateful for my ski instructor, Jim.
I am grateful for good food.
I am grateful for good laughs.

Snow, snow, and more snow!

2010-02-12T14:16:00.009-05:00

The last few weeks have been nutty in MD. I think we have gotten 60+ inches of snow between the two storms. Luckily, a farmer from Oxford, PA helped my neighbor and I plow our driveway both times. Now, the picture to the left just doesn't give this tractor justice. That is why I had to include a picture of me standing next to the rear wheel. I'm 5' 7" I might add.

As you can tell, the weather has been crazy. This week, I only worked at the college on Tuesday. The roads are terrible, and, yesterday, I helped to get someone "unstuck". It really was a cool thing since so many people stopped to help. We had this little car out of the snow bank in 15 minutes.

Now, my dogs are just loving this weather. I am enjoying it too. Yesterday, I climbed up onto the roof of my detached garage and was jumping into the snow. What complete fun! Anyway, below are pictures of my dogs. Also, you can see my back deck with the massive icicles on the right.

Gratitude Journal (2/12/10)
I am grateful for farmers!
I am grateful for being able to enjoy the snow.
I am grateful for heat.
I am grateful for wonderful country folk and my neighbor.
I am grateful for my shovel.

Good Samaritan

2010-01-24T19:57:00.000-05:00

Wow. I have been MIA from the blogging world for the last 10 days. My life has gotten crazy. Between working two jobs, pet sitting, and working on grad school stuff, I feel overwhelmed. I haven't been able to get into my exercise routine that I had started. There are just not enough hours in the day. In a way, it feels like I am getting pulled in a hundred different directions.

The first week of classes was nuts. I lost so much sleep, but I think I have a good group of students. I know that I will be busy, but I think it is a challenge I can accept. I ended up having to cut back a class, and I felt terrible since I couldn't follow through with a commitment. Later on though, I realized that I was calm and at peace with this decision of mine.

Saturday was another busy but great day. I did get a lot accomplished, but the highlight of my day was participating in the youth group activities. We had a great discussion about determining if we are following the path that God wants us to be on. My discussion group was awesome. We all shared so much and opened up to each other even though we were basically strangers. I won't mention all we talked about since that is private, but I will say that together, we can to a decision. We concluded that when we are doing God's will in life, we have a feeling of peace. Wow. So I stopped and tried to think if I was at peace. For the most part, I am at peace.

About a month ago, I ended up finding a new roommate thanks to my friend Tina. My roommate moved in this weekend, and so far, everything is great. I must admit, I had some reservations (okay a ton) about having another roommate in light of the last one who was supposedly a friend. This time around, I made sure everything was in writing. I think that will help us both out. Anyway, as scared as I was about the situation, I am very much at peace with my decision right now.

Today, we spent a great deal of time getting everything situated. After working hard to unpack, we decided to head out to grab a bite to eat. Some how, we ended up with a flat tire. I called a bunch of people to see if we could get some help, but no one was around. Lucky for us, there was a good Samaritan out there. In the rain, he helped changed the tire for us. His wife and children were there watching and helping. What a great man. What a great family. I couldn't even put into words how much we both appreciated it. Even through the crazy tire changing in the rain, I still felt at peace.

There are areas of my life where I am not at peace. It is those areas that are draining. It is those areas where I am afraid of what may come. I am afraid of the things that will disturb my peace. However, we should not live in what has happened, or fear what may come tomorrow. Live well in the here and now, and treat this as your defining moment.

Gratitude Journal (1/24/10)
I am grateful for knowing my limits.
I am grateful for finding peace with at least part of my life.
I am grateful for having a roommate.
I am grateful for house plants.
I am grateful for good Samaritans.

Avatar

2010-01-14T09:41:00.000-05:00

Last night, I finally saw the movie Avatar 3D. I must say that I was amazed by the movie. The 3D effect was amazing. I really felt like I was there on the foreign planet. The aliens were lifelike, the camerawork was great, the music scores were amazing, and the graphics were absolutely stunning.

Without giving things away, the story is where humans invade another planet and are forcing native aliens to relocate so the humans can harvest an extremely valuable material called "unobtainium." Notice the play in the name of the material un-obtain-ium. The Natives, the Na'vi, reminded me of how history depicts Native Americans. The Na'vi have a wonderful view of the planet and how all things exist in harmony. They take only what they need to survive.

I was really sad when I left the movie. I was overwhelmed with the message that I received from the movie. I thought the message was that most humans are so quick to take take take from everything and everyone. We take for each other, we take the resources from the Earth without replenishing the resource, etc. How I wish that I could live in harmony with the Earth as the Native Americans seemed to do easily.

As I look out my window, I see the roads and the traffic, and I have to wonder, how many people take the Earth for granted. I know that I have. I feel like I have to do something to give back to the Earth. My plan is to be a "greener" person. I have already started by eating mostly organic foods, recycling, and planting. I hope that somehow, I can make a difference.

Gratitude Journal (1/10/10)
I am grateful for recycling.
I am grateful for trees.
I am grateful for alternative energy.
I am grateful for have created a beautiful garden.
I am grateful for organic suppliers.

My First Blog Giveaway - WINNERS

2010-01-11T07:14:00.004-05:00

I want to thank everyone who entered this giveaway. You helped make it a success. I hope to have more giveaways in the future.

WINNERS

I used the random number generator to determine a winner. Looks like comment #55, Candie L., won the coupon giveaway. I will be emailing you soon for your information.

Turns out everyone who reads this blog is a winner. Glowgirl generously offered to give everyone who entered or reads this blog free shipping on her coupon organizers until Sunday, January 17. Here is how you can get free shipping:

1. Access GlowGirl's Etsy shop
2. Add the organizer you want to your cart and start checking out.
3. Put Kristyanna blog in the message to seller
4. GlowGirl will then credit back all shipping charges!

Remember to act fast. Free shipping offer expires Sunday, January 17, 2010!

Persistence and Patience

2010-01-10T10:19:00.001-05:00

"Those who persist reach the finish line, while those who give up stay behind." This was my motivational quote yesterday. It really is a true statement. In this day and age, we are so used to getting what we want when we want it, and if we don't get what we want, we throw a fit or give up. I am not sure statistically or scientifically if this idea has helped or hurt our society. On a personal level though, I feel that it has hurt us.

Whatever happened to persistence and patience? I mean, things don't just happen overnight. Maybe we will have our breakthrough tomorrow, next, week, next month, or even next year. If we do quit, we never know when that would be. In fact, if we keep persisting, most likely we will see result, but if we give up, we have accepted failure. I can't tell you how many times I had thought about giving up in different areas of my life, but I kept on moving to my goal. It definitely isn't easy.

Last night, I worked with the youth group at my parish. We were discussing the idea of being a gift from God. Our discussion lead to determining how we can be a better gift to God and others. One of the kids in my group said this about patience:

I think patience is key to achieving our goals and being a better person. It involves the act of placing our concern in the hands of our Lord, and leaving it there.

I was amazed at her statement. I mean, here, this teenager really seemed to have it together in her life and faith. This is something that I couldn't have said better. How often are we taught that patience is a virtue, but how do we achieve that patience. I realized that in my life I was missing a key ingredient to having real patience, placing my concern in God's hands. Sure, I pray, I talk to God, but rarely do I ask for help for me. I always thought that was selfish.

I have come to believe that persistence and patience have to go hand in hand. I mean, isn't persistence really just patience in action. While we can patiently wait for a better world, it is persisting that makes it happen. I know that I am pretty decent with both, but I need improvement in order to be a better person. So, I will be asking God for His help with patience and persistence. My Dad had this idea mastered, and I hope that with enough patience and persistence, I can too. I hope you can do the same.

Blog Giveaways
It is not too late to enter My First Blog Giveaway. It ends today. Check back tomorrow for winners!

Gratitude Journal (1/10/10)
I am grateful for being a part of the youth group.
I am grateful for my first Blog win.
I am grateful for cultivating a stronger relationship with God.
I am grateful for being persistent.
I am grateful for having patience.

Liquid Diet?

2010-01-05T09:40:00.002-05:00

As I was making breakfast this morning (my spinach smoothie), I realized that I was eating only liquid foods. Now, I never set out to do this at all. It's just that with the cold weather, I have been craving soup, soup, and more soup. On one of my recent trips to the store, I found an organic soup called Imagine. I gave it a try and thought it was amazing! Currently, I have only tried their creamy soups mainly because I was craving a butternut squash soup, a broccoli soup, and tomato soup. I have tried all of these in the last few days for lunch and dinner. Just delicious! Give it a try sometime.

Blog Giveaways
Don't forget that you still have time to enter My First Blog Giveaway!

Gratitude Journal (1/5/10)
I am grateful for hot soups.
I am grateful for warm blankets.
I am grateful for sunshine.
I am grateful for sweaters.
I am grateful for Sai in his help with some programming on this blog.

Where do you see youself in 5 years?

2010-01-04T19:26:00.002-05:00

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? This is a question that I have grown to hate outside of the typical job interviews. I do understand that most companies mean where do you see yourself with us in 5 years. But, interviewing isn't where I grew to dislike this question.

It is more the personal aspect of this question that drives me nuts. I feel like it is a question that sets us up to fail. We don't know where we will be in 5 years at all. I know I thought I'd be married and starting a family by now. That hasn't happened. I know that I thought my parents would both be around. That hasn't happened either. Of course there are the non-realistic goals like being a millionaire. Yeah, that hasn't happened yet either.

What we do tend to forget is all that we have accomplished in those 5 years. Yes, I may not be married or have my own family, but hey I bought my own house. I earned my Master's Degree and am finishing up a doctoral degree. Not too shabby if you ask me. For me, it is easier to look at what I have accomplished in the last 5 years. When I focus on that, I am happy. When I focus on what I wanted to have by now, that just gets depressing. God has His plan for me, and I know that right now, I just don't understand His timetable. That doesn't mean that I will never have those amazing things. It just means I have to be patient.

Gratitude Journal (1/4/10)
I am grateful for Vanessa who is currently fixing my computer.
I am grateful for all that I have been blessed with in my lifetime.
I am grateful for the good people in my life.
I am grateful for hot beverages.
I am grateful for the great success of my first blog giveaway. There is still time to enter!

Blog Giveaways
I also am entered in Turn Left at the Pigs Giveaway which celebrates her first sale!

My First Blog Giveaway!

2010-01-03T08:49:00.013-05:00

THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED. For the giveaway winner list, click here.

This December, I finally purchased a coupon holder for all of my coupons. I wanted something that was easy to use, could attach to my shopping cart, and was eco-friendly. Well, I found the perfect thing! This coupon organizer by GlowGirl secures directly to your grocery cart (front or side) for hands free use. They come in some really awesome fabrics and are all fully lined. They will not fall apart!

GlowGirl Fibers has generously offered to sponsor my first ever blog giveaway. Here is what you will get:

20 blank tabs!!
Choice of 76 headings (+4 blanks) peel and stick labels , YOU decide what to use on each tab!
8” wide, 5" tall, 2" flat bottom - you will rarely need to fold any coupon to fit and you can fit tons of coupons!

You can now set up your organizer exactly how you want, alpha order, store layout order, whatever works for YOU!

Now for the important stuff...How to enter. You can gain entry points as stated below.

Leave a comment on my blog letting me know which pattern coupon book you would like to try and why. Leave your email address! Check out the website. -- 1 point, 1 extra point for creativity
Follow me. -- 1 point
Add Life in a Nutshell to your Google reader! - 1 point
Be my twitter friend and tweet about this giveaway! @kdawg16 -- 1 point
Post about this giveaway on your blog -- 1 point
Add Life in a Nutshell to your blog roll -- 1 point
Become a fan of GlowGirl Products on Facebook. -- 1 point
Sign up for GlowGirl Fibers newsletter. -- 1 point
If someone mentions they learned about this giveaway from you, you get 1 extra point, so spread the blog giveaway love!

Don't forget to let me know when and how you have entered.

This contest ends a week from today on January 10, 2010. Check back to see if you won.

In addition, if you successfully entered the contest by earning at least 5 points, GlowGirl has offered to give you free shipping on her coupon organizers for one week after the contest ends (so from January 10 - 17). Again, make sure you leave your email so I can email the coupon code to those who qualify! =)

Oh yeah, this giveaway is also listed on Free Gretchen!

Green IS Good!

2010-01-02T18:48:00.003-05:00

I have been on a huge Spinach kick ~~this~~ last year. I just can't seem to get enough of it. I make spinach omelets, pasta sauce, pizza, salads, you name it. I thought I had tried just about everything there is to try with spinach. Apparently, I had not. I was reading one of the blogs I read often, And Her Little Dog Too, and she had this recipe for something called Going Green Monster. Now, I thought it was interesting, but I have to admit, it looked nasty! I did finally try it today after a few days, and I LOVED it! I made a few modifications. Here is my modified recipe:

3 cups organic Spinach
1 organic banana
1 scoop Whey Protein
1 cup Silk Soy Milk
2 Tbsp Flax seeds
a handful of ice cubes (for that extra cold drink)

Blend together and serve. Makes about 1.5 glasses.

Give it a try and make sure you let me know what you think!

Gratitude Journal (1/2/10)

I am grateful for green goodness.
I am grateful for organic products.
I am grateful for my faith in God.
I am grateful for warm clothes.
I am grateful for today being a palindrome day 01-02-2010 (thanks Lydia!).

Happy New Year! 2010!

2010-01-01T10:23:00.008-05:00

2009 is gone. It can’t be changed. It can’t be recaptured. As my cousin would say, it is what it is. I thought about the past year and what it brought. It was a year of heartache, healing, and loss. A year of understanding myself, others, situations, and circumstances. I found a new understanding of God. I learned a lot of lessons this past year, lessons that I would have rather not endured, but knowing the significance of what they meant in my life.

Was it a bad year? Was it a good year? I can’t really answer that. A year of situations that I would have rather done without, but a year of significant growth and discovery. I suppose that it is impossible to have one without the other. Overall, 2009 taught me many lessons. To be a better person, to see things at a more wider angle, to be more compassionate, to treasure good times and to appreciate life. But now it is time to say good bye to 2009.

I never thought that I would be where I am at the age of 30. Life didn’t exactly turn out as I had dreamed. What will 2010 bring me? I have no idea and I’m not brave enough to imagine. After all, whatever I come up with can be significantly changed in a blink of an eye. I know that I’m stronger. I know that I have more wisdom. I know that I’m more cautious than I have ever been, but also more open than I have ever been. I also know that life can throw me on my rear at any time and I must always be ready to have the strength to pick myself up and continue on no matter how treacherous the journey becomes.

2010. What will it bring? What will it mean? How will it shape my life? I don’t know; but, I know that this is the first time in a very long time that I’m not scared to face it. I know that I will put up the good fight instead of falling like a limp rag to the ground in defeat. I still have doubts. I still have fears. There are the days that I don’t know how I can make it one more minute. Life can be so hard. It can overwhelm us. It can defeat us if we let it. There are times that I gave up. There are times that I fought and lost. There are times that I wondered what in the hell I was doing on this earth. There were times that I wondered why God ever let me be born in the first place.

Life is never what we thought it would be, but I suppose there is a certain beauty in that. What fun would it be if everything went exactly as we thought?

Welcome 2010 - whatever you may bring. I look forward to a year of learning, triumphs and failures, but yet still learning how to find the joy in it all. I look forward to many challenges this year with my studies, my relationships with others, my family, my relatives and my career. I hope things will turn out well this year. Above all, I hope people will attain peace no matter what they are going through. I mean this from the bottom of my heart and I will continue to pray to God for the happiness of everyone. So again, Welcome 2010!

Happy New Year everyone. May it be your best year yet!

"Don’t look back on yesterday with despair. Look at tomorrow with hope."

Gratitude Journal (1/1/10)
I am grateful for a new year.
I am grateful for new beginnings.
I am grateful for clams and linguine...my soul food.
I am grateful for success and failures.
I am grateful for life lessons.

New Year's Resolutions

2009-12-30T09:41:00.005-05:00

I have never been big on making New Year's Resolutions. In fact, I always thought it was kind of dumb, something that was made and then forgotten about in a few weeks when the hubbub of the new year fades. As most of you know, I have been struggling a lot with the death of my dad. My life got sort of flipped upside down. Since then, it has seemed to me that I have let the sadness take over. It has affected other areas of my life. Well, I heard the saying "attitude fuels every step that we take, choose yours wisely each day" today, and I decided to make a resolution. Mine is to do something each day to make myself happy, genuinely happy, not that false sense of happiness. Today, I will finish going through my closet and then take the huge bag to Goodwill. What a better way to start the resolution then by helping others.

Gratitude Journal (12/30/09)
I am grateful for my health.
I am grateful for learning new things.
I am grateful for a positive outlook today.
I am grateful for having a break from work.
I am grateful for discovering happiness again.

Pop Goes the Weasel Review

2009-12-30T09:07:00.000-05:00

Pop Goes The Weasel (Alex Cross, Book 5) by James Patterson

My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Detective Alex Cross investigates the murders of "Jane Does" which seem random to most investigators. Geoffry Shafer is a serial killer who picks his victims by playing a role playing game called The Four Horsemen. A simple role of the dice will determine if that person will live or die. Anyone can be a player in the game without realizing it including his own family.

As much as I do love the Alex Cross series so far, I am getting frustrated with how each serial killer that Cross faces has to involve his family in some way. I do know that things like this happen in real life, but every case? Because of this fact, I would have given the book a 3.5/5 instead of a 4/5 if that option was available. I am hoping in the next book, Patterson manages to keep the Cross family out of harms way.

View all my reviews >>

Cold, Colder, Coldest

2009-12-29T16:45:00.002-05:00

It appears Sunday's temperatures of 45 degrees F was just a teaser. The last few days, it has been so cold and the high winds haven't helped at all. I have been drinking lots of tea and eating lots of soup. I found a great Butternut Squash soup in the grocery store the other day. Mmmmmm. But, I still can't seem to keep my feet warm which is why I entered the Drymax Sock Contest. It will be the perfect solution to my problem when and if I win.

Life without a computer has been nice. I have managed to work on my grad school paper though I only have a page done. In addition, I have been going through some clothes so that I can donate them to Goodwill. I am trying in any way possible to clear out the clutter in my life. I started with my eliminating a good bit of modern distractions, then I cleaned out my closet, and next, I tackle the basement. If only it was possible to have a yard sale in January. It is way too cold for that though.

In the meantime, I have also been selected to do some book reviews for different authors. I am pretty excited about this opportunity. It will add to my long list of part time jobs: pet sitter, math tutor, adjunct professor, and now book reviewer.

Gratitude Journal (12/29/09)
I am grateful for my heater.
I am grateful for hot tea.
I am grateful for being able to exercise indoors.
I am grateful for sunshine.
I am grateful for friends.

Cat and Mouse Review

2009-12-28T21:07:00.001-05:00

Cat and Mouse by James Patterson

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Gary Soneji from Along Came a Spider is baaaack. He is out to get Alex Cross with a little game of cat and mouse. Who is chasing who? For another twist, another serial killer, Mr. Smith, is on the loose, and he has been killing in the US and Europe. Alex is the only one who can get into the heads of these killers, but can he stop both of them?

View all my reviews >>

Running, Football, Yoga, & Relaxing

2009-12-27T19:53:00.001-05:00

Today was one of those days that I just needed to relax. I started off by reading and finishing the book Mercy by Julie Garwood (see my review). After feeling refreshed, I decided to start working on my paper for grad school. As it turns out, the email system where I have all the surveys saved was down. Changing plans, I decided to get my butt moving and go for a leisurely run with my dog Chess. The weather was perfect for it, and it was quite invigorating! By the time I got home and cleaned up, it was time for football. There were some great games on including the Eagles Broncos game (Eagles won 30 - 27). I have also started doing Yoga before I go to bed. It is quite relaxing.

So far, my goal to remove modern distractions from my life has been successful. I was on Facebook today for the first time in over a week. It almost felt overwhelming to check out the site. I have even been able to cut out almost all television (not that I watched much anyway...no cable) except for the NFL games. It has also helped that my work laptop died today. I still have so much to do to prep for next semester not to mention I have to finish my paper for grad school that is due January 1st.

So, now, football is over, exercise is done, and all is good. I am slowly gaining my strength and confidence. Tomorrow is a new day. Can't wait to see what it brings!

Picture Source

Gratitude Journal (12/27/09)

I am grateful for being able to run today.
I am grateful for football.
I am grateful for stress relievers.
I am grateful for yoga.
I am grateful for yet another beautiful day.

Mercy Review

2009-12-27T11:01:00.000-05:00

Mercy by Julie Garwood

My rating: 3 of 5 stars
Boston resident and Justice Department attorney Theo Buchanan is struck ill at a New Orleans gala, and Dr. Michelle (Mike) Renard works fast to save his life. In the meantime, a group of four friends called the Sowing Club, has been driven by greed to accumulate millions in a secret bank account. Somehow, what they have done has leaked out and now they want to kill Michelle and Theo.

This book was a fast read but not very suspenseful. The story becomes much more about Theo and Michelle and less about the plot to kill them. Still, this was an enjoyable read for a rainy day.

View all my reviews >>

One More Christmas

2009-12-26T15:59:00.000-05:00

Well, another Christmas has come and gone. This used to be my favorite holiday for so many reasons (and I am not even thinking about the whole present aspect of the holiday). Since dad died, I haven't had that joy in my heart that I am used to having at this time of year. Instead, I feel a great sadness. Christmas has always been about family, and it seems wrong to be celebrating without dad. I still have a hard time listening to choirs (he was the music minister and choir director for 20+years at my old church). In a way, I felt lost and alone this Christmas even though I was surrounded by family and friends. I guess it felt like I wasn't present this year, like I was just observing from afar. Odd sensation really. I just hope that I can find the joy again in my favorite holiday. But for now, how ever difficult it was, I survived one more Christmas without dad. Hopefully by next year, I will have things figured out.

And suddenly, grad school makes sense again.

2009-12-21T22:07:00.002-05:00

Today, I finally got my grade back on a project/paper that I had to do for grad school that took 6 weeks to complete. I was terrible nervous since my professor sent the class an email that implied no one did well on our first assignment. It took me probably 30 minutes before I got the nerve to check my grade. It turns out, I got a 3.8/4.0 = 95%. Go me! And yes, I must brag.

I've gone through a good deal of ups and downs through this program. I must admit that I was in real funk about this class. I started feeling like maybe I can't do this program. Maybe I am just not cut out for grad school (all be cause I got a low B in a class). Now, I can turn things around and kick some butt on the remaining 5 papers (one being a monster 25 pager). This one paper that we just got back somehow gave me confidence again. For that, I am grateful!

It is a funny thing because all of a sudden, I can see the end is near. I still have about a year and a half to go (5 more classes), but I am getting there! I know that I just have to tough things out for another year and a half. Then I can start reaping the benefits of being Dr. Kristy. I like the sound of that! =)

I was also able to finish all my grades for work. I had a few stragglers on some assignments, but they finished up and now everything is entered. Life is good.

Gratitude Journal (12/21/09)
I am grateful for my cousin and grams.
I am grateful for my getting my confidence back.
I am grateful for my friend's patience as I struggle through some difficult things.
I am grateful for books.
I am grateful for yet another beautiful day.

Silent Witness Review

2009-12-20T22:59:00.002-05:00

Silent Witness by Richard North Patterson

My rating: 3 of 5 stars
28 years ago, Tony Lord was suspected but not formally tried for murdering his high school girlfriend. He was forced to handle the accusations of the town virtually alone. Once he graduated, he left the town, went to college, became a lawyer, and started a new life.

That all changed when his former best friend was suspected of murder. He returns to his home town to help him, but he has no idea what he is walking into.

This legal thriller by Patterson is a pretty easy read. Patterson explores the loyalty of friends and deals with the issue of sexual abuse of teenage girls by a trusted authority figure. I found the book to be a bit predictable, but entertaining.

View all my reviews >>

Let it Snow!

2009-12-19T18:36:00.009-05:00

The first snowfall of the year and it is a doozie! I can't remember the last time we had this much snow. Well, I guess I can remember this one time when I lived back home with my parents. Gosh, it must have been 10 or 15 years ago. But, we had so much snow. All my dad wanted to do was go driving. He loved that no one was on the road, and that there was this quite that settles when you drive. He took me with him one time, and I got to share in the beauty of the day. Every time it snows, I think of that day. Now, living in MD, I get to enjoy my picturesque backyard wonderland. Here are some pictures that I thought I would share. The top picture is of my creek.

The middle picture are my dogs, Chess, Comet, & Blitz who absolutely LOVE the snow. It almost seems like the snow gives them even more energy! Can you imagine three border collies with more energy than normal?! That is even hard for me to fathom and I have witnessed this amazing burst of energy.

The last picture is of my neighbor and I shoveling our driveway in the blizzard. Who took this picture you might ask? Well, someone who was inside in the cozy warmth of my house. Okay, to cut him some slack, I only had one shovel and he took the first round of shoveling...plus he made me breakfast. =)

I hope you get to enjoy the beautiful, peaceful day that snow can bring.

Gratitude Journal (12/19/09)
I am grateful for my warm, waterproof, pants.
I am grateful for my dogs.
I am grateful for snow shovels.
I am grateful for peace and tranquility.
I am grateful for homemade breakfasts (especially when I don't have to make them!)

Holiday Stressors

2009-12-17T06:33:00.004-05:00

Most people this time of year seemed to be stressed over the holidays. What should I get this person? Do I have enough money saved to buy all these gifts? Do I have enough time to get everything done for the holidays? Will there be family issues this year? These are some of the common holiday stressors that people tend to have. I am lucky because I don't have these this year. This is such a good thing. However, I am still completely stressed.

In the next few weeks, I have so much work related and grad school stuff to finish, that my mind is going insane. I really feel like there are not enough hours in the day between prepping for two new classes and creating surveys and writing papers (including a monster 25 page paper). My black hole of endless work seems to be getting larger.

Last night, I went out to dinner. Food was great. Company was great. I however, was not fully present. I kept thinking about all the things I could have been working on instead of going out to dinner. I was even wondering how I could multi-task. Would it be possible to grade final exams while waiting for the food to come out?

Even though I have my plan laid out on how to complete most of my tasks, I have this little prickle in the back of my neck that lets me know I won't get it all done. I need to learn to accept that I may not be able to finish everything I want to and that will be okay. Until then, it is off to work I go!

Gratitude Journal (12/15/09)
I am grateful for finding time to relax with my "fun" books or on a trainer.
I am grateful for my dogs.
I am grateful for the beautiful day.
I am grateful for UPS.
I am grateful for USPS.

Holiday Shopping Savings

2009-12-15T10:14:00.003-05:00

Apparently, with the bustle of the holidays, I forgot to share a very neat incentive with all those online shoppers out there. Ebates. I am all about looking for deals, so what is better than getting paid for shopping on line? You can get up to 30% cash back for shopping at stores like Target, Barnes and Nobles, etc. Plus there are additional coupons like free shipping and additional savings. Right now, there have also been double cash back incentives.

More great ways to earn! If you sign up with Ebates today (using my referral links on this page) and we'll each get a $5 bonus when you make your first purchase of $20 or more! In addition, you can get a $5 Special Holiday Bonus with $25 minimum order by 12/31/09. I don't know about you, but I think that is a great deal!

My referral link.

Let's help each other receive some holiday ~~cheer~~ cash! Happy shopping!

Gratitude Journal (12/15/09)
I am grateful for cash back from Ebates.
I am grateful for the Soup Contest by And Her Little Dog Too.
I am grateful for finding time to bike again.
I am grateful for productivity today.
I am grateful for doggie dreams.

Training on a Bike Trainer

2009-12-14T09:53:00.002-05:00

So, I have been able to ride on my trainer the last few days. I must say, I think that each day gets more difficult. My brain starts telling me that I can just stop. Who would know, right? Out on the road, my pride takes over, and I can't just stop when I see that daunting hill ahead. I must climb that hill that is ahead of me so that no one sees me quit. At the gym, there are too many people around to just give up. On my trainer, there are no people or cars going by to witness me giving up. Now I know, that I would know if I gave up...but still.

Now I face a new challenge of motivating myself to keep up with riding. I know that I won't give up, but I think I must adjust my expectations. I will start out with riding 5 miles a day this week and up my daily ride by 5 miles per week until I am biking at least 30 miles a day. Pretty reasonable I think.

Off to get in my 5 miles before I change my mind!!!

Gratitude Journal (12/14/09)
I am grateful for finishing and submitting my paper for grad school.
I am grateful for books.
I am grateful for one of my part time jobs...petsitting.
I am grateful for being able to live on my own.
I am grateful for my education.

Modern Life Distractions

2009-12-13T23:51:00.000-05:00

One of my goals in the last few years has been to simplify my life, to embrace the lifestyle of minimalism, to clear the clutter, both physical and mental, and get back to basics, the simple life. I am tired of the feeling stress when too many demands of modern life poke their noses into my daily business. These unwelcome interruptions generally follow a period of my forgetting how good simplicity feels, and getting caught up in the day to day, the busy-ness, the distractions, of this modern life (and I don't even have cable tv). I find myself longing for an escape from this modern world.

Of course, there is always the mind clutter that comes with distractions. Your thoughts are distracted with getting to and from work, keeping track of appointments and due dates, organizing meals, cleaning the house, taking care of the dogs, and working on grad school, and in the middle, somewhere, trying to find time to spend with your friends. The mind clutter is what finds me feeling directionless, surrounded by volunteering commitments to be met, classes to be taught, laundry to be done, the problem of my basement desperately needing a good cleaning, and the many house repairs that need completion.

As it is now, I enjoy not having the modern wonder called cable. However, that isn't enough of an escape. It isn't enough to make my mind stop racing. I find myself wanting to throw my cell phone into the creek in my backyard. I want to lock my lap top computer in a room (so I thought about throwing it into the creek too but it is work property). I want to disconnect my internet so I don't loose myself for hours clicking on one link after another (or playing Bejeweled Blitz on facebook). Of course, this isn't possible.

So as I tell my students when working with mathematics, simplify, simplify, simplify. I decided to take my own advice and apply it to my life, and so, I find myself unsubscribing from more and more mailing lists and RSS feeds. I'm being more and more brutal in how I deal with email in terms of checking it and responding to it. I'm avoiding instant messenger, facebook, and twitter as much as possible. I changed my voicemail message at work to inform callers to email me (of course I have to spell out my email address), hoping that I'll have one less item to check for new stuff that demands my attention. Basically, I am trying to do everything to simplify my life.

In addition, I want to set aside time for myself to read a good book instead of watching tv (or movies) or bike either outside or on my trainer. I want to meditate and do yoga on a daily basis. I want to strengthen my relationship with God. I can only hope that these ideas or goals help me to simplify my life.

I will now leave you with some words:

We clutter the earth with our inventions, never dreaming that possibly they are unnecessary — or disadvantageous. We devise astounding means of communication, but do we communicate with one another? We move our bodies to and fro and incredible speeds, but do we really leave the spot we started from? Mentally, morally, spiritually, we are fettered. What have we achieved in mowing down mountain ranges, harnessing the energy of mighty rivers, or moving whole populations about like chess pieces, if we ourselves remain the same restless, miserable, frustrated creatures we were before? To call such activity progress is utter delusion. We may succeed in altering the face of the earth until it is unrecognizable even to the Creator, but if we are unaffected wherein lies the meaning? – Henry Miller

Happiness can only be found if you can free yourself of all other distractions. - Saul Bellow

Gratitude Journal (12/13/09)
I am grateful for the semester to be over.
I am grateful for my grams.
I am grateful for being about to finish a paper.
I am grateful for getting all of my Christmas shopping finished.
I am grateful for DeSean Jackson and the Philadelphia Eagles' 45-38 win over the NYG.

Fight!!!! Just Kidding??

2009-12-04T16:12:00.007-05:00

Today, I was teaching my Pre-Calculus class, and we all heard the nastiest sounding fight coming from the adjoining classroom. I told my students to stay put while I checked out the next room. I peeked in the window to see a student in a headlock. I didn't have to look twice to see that these guys were huge. I was not going to get in the middle of it or attempt to break up the fight. I ran down to security. As we were walking towards the issue, the door opened and items (books, keys, etc.) were flying out of the door. But, our trusted security officer took care of the situation while I went back to my class.

Of course, my students had all these questions. Was anyone hurt? What did you see? Of course, I told them what I saw which was basically nothing. I didn't know if anyone was hurt. And then they told me that it sounded bad...really bad. We tried to push the madness aside and get back to work. Our security guard popped his head in to give us the update...the fight was a skit.

My whole class was shocked...including myself. I must say, that group was very believable. They sure had my entire class fooled. I really hope they got an A on their project. I did make sure to recommend that to the professor. =)

My Trainer is in!

2009-12-03T18:34:00.002-05:00

I found out today that my trainer for my road bike came in! Yeah! My boyfriend should be picking it up soon, and I will be riding this weekend! That really motivates me as the weather is starting to get more "wintery" (yeah I know I made that word up), and I am having a hard time focusing. I can't wait to be able to bike and read or work on grad school stuff or even complete work related stuff at the same time!

I also got a really neat saying today that I thought I would share.

Today, you should celebrate what an unbelievable life you have had so far: the accomplishments, the many blessings, and, yes, even the hardships because they have served to make you stronger. Just as a gem cannot be polished without friction, nor can a life be perfected without trials. Take a time to acknowledge your life and to praise yourself.

Gratitude Journal (12/03/09)
I am grateful for the Holiday Bootie Buster Challenge (which is keeping me in shape and relatively stress free)
I am grateful for work having to shut down today.
I am grateful for time to work on some papers.
I am grateful for the fast delivery of my trainer.
I am grateful for positive colleagues.

One of Those Weeks

2009-12-02T17:14:00.001-05:00

We have all had those days or weeks when it seems like the universe must be out of line. Nothing seems to go right no matter what you try to do.

This week has been my week for the universe to not quite line up. It all started Sunday night with work related issues. Somehow, a problem arose and multiple solutions were presented in a logical manner. However, it appears, that some sort of power struggle occurred, and it no longer became a simple problem to solve. Now, egos got in the way, and a problem that should have been solved in 5 minutes is still not solved. It has been very stressful.

I got into teaching for the students. I just will never understand why people have to have this struggle for power. When that starts to happen, then our students are going to be the ones who suffer. Sometimes I think it is best just to sit back, listen, and not have an opinion. Maybe I should only worry about making a difference in the classroom. I am not sure.

I need to go meditate, pray, and do some yoga to de-stress. Then, I must work on my grad school stuff that has gotten put off lately.

Gratitude Journal (12/02/09)
I am grateful for the Holiday Bootie Buster Challenge (which is keeping me in shape and relatively stress free)
I am grateful for meditation.
I am grateful for yoga.
I am grateful for patient, logical people.
I am grateful for having someone to confide in.

About Me

2009-12-01T14:25:00.004-05:00

I am a Jersey girl who is currently living in a rural part of Maryland. My full time job is a Math Professor, but I wear many hats. In my spare time I am also a part time Dog Sitter, Math Tutor, and Book reviewer. I love to volunteer. In addition to all of that, I am a huge Eagles Fan, avid reader, and athlete. I have three border collies keep me very active.

I guess an explanation is in order as to why I blog. It started in November of 2007 when my dad died of cancer. At first, I wrote "Life in a Nutshell" as a way for me to deal with the overwhelming feelings that I was experiencing I know that life is never easy, and I hope to share my thoughts on what I have been through.

Then, "Life in a Nutshell" started to transition into a way to keep in touch and update my life for family and friends. It sure beat sending out mass emails. This way, people could read when and if they wanted to. Now, as I have moved on, I still blog about coping with life, but it has expanded to book reviews, training, and other random ideas.

I hope you enjoy reading about my day to day thoughts during all of these stages. The look of this blog will probably change quite a bit, since I love the creative/artistic process of things like this. I do hope it is enjoyable for you to read.

All the best!
Kristy

New Plumbing & Goals

2009-11-30T12:07:00.000-05:00

Saturday, I had to have my plumbing replaced. Last week, I got the joy of cleaning up "stuff" where my cast iron pipe split. This pipe goes from my toilet out to my septic tank. My plumber is the best. Not only did he replace the plumbing, but he replaced my two ancient toilets. I swear that those toilets were as old as the house that was built in 1952. =)

I also went out and got a trainer for my bike so that I can ride in the winter. I really miss not having the ability to get to a gym (my old gym closed), and it is starting to affect my moods. Now, I have a wishful goal of at least competing in one dualthon (biking and running). I really love biking so I want to focus on that this winter. Not to mention, the trainer for my bike was much cheaper than a treadmill or a gym membership. Maybe one day I will have my own treadmill so I can run in bad weather too.

Gratitude Journal (11/30/09)
I am grateful for the Holiday Bootie Buster Challenge (which is keeping me in shape)
I am grateful for my plumber who always comes through.
I am grateful for being able to get a trainer for my bike.
I am grateful for the wonderful weather this weekend.
I am grateful for being able to exercise with my dogs and boyfriend.

Changing things up.

2009-11-24T15:17:00.000-05:00

The last few days have been really rough on me. It is that time of year where the holidays creep up on us. It just reminds me even more that around this time is 2007, we were planning my dad's funeral. I haven't been able to escape this thought much to the many attempts that I have made. Instead, I sort of let myself dwell on the negative parts of life. I know this is NOT how to deal with anything, but it is hard to break that habit.

I was blessed today to talk with a good friend from high school who reminded me again that we can't control the cards life deals us, but we can control how we play the cards we are dealt. This is my mission. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself, get my confidence back, and live life how I used to.

In the spirit of changing things up, I am going to start my own gratitude journal which is similar to one in another blog I read. I am doing this to help me remember just how many things in my life are good. My plan is to start with 5 things each time I blog. It sounds pretty easy, but something tells me that it might be difficult at first.

Gratitude Journal (11/24/09)
I am grateful to have known my dad.
I am grateful for Ian S.
I am grateful for Holiday Bootie Buster Challenge
I am grateful for having met my great-grandparents.
I am grateful for my mom.

Two Years...

2009-11-19T06:40:00.000-05:00

On November 19, 2007 at 10:10 am, 2 years ago today, my dad passed away. I still have nightmares about that day. How many people can be okay after watching someone they love suffocate to death?

I can't say that loosing my dad has gotten any easier, and I know that people don't understand. I have learned to keep my mouth shut about these feelings. I have found that people do understand at first, but then expect you to get get over it...especially by now. There are times I wish I could just get over loosing my dad...my best friend, but I don't know how.

I have been told to move on with my life...that I have done but grief just doesn't go away. It seems to change with different life situations. I know that there have been different situations through the last two years that force me to deal with this loss again and again. Of course, that makes me try to figure out the meaning of his death while struggling to find a place for him in my life.

So today, I have to force myself to get up and get to work. I don't want to in any way. I want to stay curled up in bed. But, dad wouldn't want that. I can only try to live like he lived. I find myself asking how Dad would react. His only agenda in life seemed to be to love. He had an immense love for his family, his music, and whatever else came his way. He never had hidden agendas. With him, what you saw was what you got, and all you could see was his pure goodness. Dad never uttered a negative word about anyone.

Some words I found on the internet:

Know that death ends a life, but it does not end a relationship. The bond you have with your dad will stay with you just as long as you keep his memory alive in your mind and in your heart. He will always be your father and you will always be his daughter. Take comfort in knowing that, in a very real sense, your dad is very much here with you now, wherever you are. His spirit and his memory live on in you because you are so very much a part of him. When you really think about it, in many ways you are more inseparable now than you were before, because you are not limited by space and time and distance.

Please remember to keep the people you care about close to your heart. Always tell the people you love that you do love them and appreciate all they do. You never know when you will not get that chance again!

Prayer and/or Positive Energy Requests

2009-11-05T12:22:00.000-05:00

They say that bad things come in threes. I don't know who "they" are that say this or how "they" discovered this phenomenon or if it is even true. But this saying is certainly true for events that have happened this week. So as I sit here today, I need to take some time to ask for prayer requests. If you don't happen to believe in prayer, then I am requesting some positive energy be sent out.

The first goes to a dear friend and his family who passed away suddenly this week.

The second goes to a current student of mine who was in a bad car accident.

The third goes to another dear friend who was in a bad motorcycle accident.

Please take the time to pray for these wonderful people and their families as they each go through a very difficult time in their lives. I thank you in advance. I also am listing a few sample prayers that I found.

Sample prayer for those who mourn:
Bless those who mourn, eternal God,
with the comfort of your love
that they may face each new day with hope
and the certainty that nothing can destroy
the good that has been given. May their memories become joyful,
their days enriched with friendship,
and their lives encircled by your love.
Amen.

- Vienna Cobb Anderson

Sample prayer for one who has passed:

Almighty God, we remember this day that you called your faithful servant; and we pray that, having opened to him the gates of larger life, you will receive him more and more into thy joyful service, that, with all who have faithfully served you in the past, he may share in the eternal victory of Jesus Christ our Lord; who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

Sample Healing Prayer for a Friend:
Almighty God, All Holy One, You alone are Our Father who saves, Our Great Physician and Healer. I ask you to look down upon My Friend, here with current weakness of body and needing perhaps some medical assistance. May it please you to bring healing through your loving touch and inspiration for her, as to how to proceed. With this I ask in Jesus name, Amen.

November Already?

2009-11-05T06:08:00.002-05:00

I woke up this morning to a wonderful day, I looked at my clock, and said, "it's November already?!" I found myself wondering where October went. In fact, where did September go?

I completed my third grad class out of 9 total classes. Boy did that 16 week class fly by. I can only hope that my 4th class (it started on Sunday) goes by just as quickly. In addition, somehow, the semester is more than halfway over. I started talking about the semester with my students the other day, and the semester seems to have flown by for them also. We only have 8 classes left (for the twice a week class). WOW. Time is flying by!

Time is something that we do all take for granted. We blink and that moment is gone. It isn't until some tragic event occurs that we stop for just a little bit to slow down and start to enjoy life. This week, I learned about a few tragic events. One student at the college passed away. He was someone who was not only a student, but a good friend and colleague. I will truly miss this person. In addition, on of my current students was in a bad car accident. I don't know any of the details yet or if he is okay. The only thing I can do is to pray for these people and their families. I am asking that you can do the same thing.

We need to slow down. Take some time each day to find something beautiful in the world. It could be something simple like a sunset or flowers or just stopping to breathe in the fresh fall air.

Take the time each day to let someone know that they are important to you. You never know when you will have the opportunity to speak what is in your heart so don't be afraid to do so in the present moment. I can say that today, I have a wonderful boyfriend who continues to amaze me each day. I am grateful that our paths crossed.

Beating the Swine (H1N1) Flu

2009-10-30T06:05:00.000-04:00

With so many people seeming to get sick with the flue, I thought I'd share en email I got from Jen.

The only portals of entry are the nostrils and mouth/throat. In a global epidemic of this nature, it's almost impossible to avoid coming into contact with H1N1 in spite of all precautions. Contact with H1N1 is not so much of a problem as proliferation is.

While you are still healthy and not showing any symptoms of H1N1 infection, in order to prevent proliferation, aggravation of symptoms and development of secondary infections, some very simple steps, not fully highlighted in most official communications, can be practiced (instead of focusing on how to stock N95 or Tamiflu):

1. Frequent hand-washing (well highlighted in all official communications).

2. "Hands-off-the-face" approach. Resist all temptations to touch any part of face (unless you want to eat, bathe or slap).

3. *Gargle twice a day with warm salt water (use Listerine if you don't trust salt). *H1N1 takes 2-3 days after initial infection in the throat/nasal cavity to proliferate and show characteristic symptoms. Simple gargling prevents proliferation. In a way, gargling with salt water has the same effect on a healthy individual that Tamiflu has on an infected one. Don't underestimate this simple, inexpensive and powerful preventative method.

4. Similar to 3 above, *clean your nostrils at least once every day with warm salt water. *Not everybody may be good at Jala Neti or Sutra Neti (very good Yoga asanas to clean nasal cavities), but *blowing the nose hard once a day and swabbing both nostrils with cotton buds dipped in warm salt water is very effective in bringing down viral population.*

5. *Boost your natural immunity with foods that are rich in Vitamin C (Alma and other citrus fruits). *If you have to supplement with Vitamin C tablets, make sure that it also has Zinc to boost absorption.

6. *Drink as much of warm liquids (tea, coffee, etc) as you can. *Drinking warm liquids has the same effect as gargling, but in the reverse direction. They wash off proliferating viruses from the throat into the stomach where they cannot survive, proliferate or do any harm.

Hope you found this information useful! Here's to everyone's health!

Birthdays

2009-10-26T14:34:00.003-04:00

I have been lucky to be blessed with friends and family that care a great deal about me. I couldn't have asked for a better birthday weekend. I was able to visit people in NJ, head to the PA Renaissance Fair for the first time with friends, and spend some quality time with the people I care about the most.

Of course, birthdays for me isn't just about presents and fun. I started to think more and more about life ever since my dad passed away. So as another year has come and gone, and I sit back wondering what this life is for? I had a lot of goals for myself that I realistically couldn't necessarily attain. For instance, I had planned to be married by the time I turned XX years old. However, I know that this isn't something that I can just say is going to happen. I can't control this part of my life. There really isn't any point in dwelling on things like this that I couldn't attain or control instead of the things that I can attain.

Then, I remembered that I created my Life List about a year ago. Looking back on that list, I realized that I have accomplished a good deal for myself. I know that people measure accomplishments in different ways, and I did not list all of my accomplishments, but I do feel like my life is really worth something. =)

Missing the Run???

2009-10-23T06:03:00.007-04:00

Some days, you need to run, no matter how much you may or may not like it. It could be because things haven't gone well, or you're stressed out, or you just feel like a mud puddle. Your body needs to get out and run (or do some sort of exercise) to re-set itself.

That was my yesterday, only, without the run. I not only had the need to run, but I also had the desire to run. Having this need and desire to run doesn't come often for me as you might know. Maybe the fact that my boyfriend actually enjoys running ultra marathons is rubbing off on me....Nah. =) Anyway, I couldn't get out for a run no matter how much I wanted to.

The short story is that I have been mentally and physically off all week due to some stressful life situations. It really started to affect my brain power and my overall energy. I have been tired...really tired. I found myself getting frustrated because all I could think about was how I could seriously use a run but didn't have the time to squeeze a run into my day. As much as I dislike to run, running can work wonders to improve a mood, and yesterday, I didn't have that. I missed it.

I'll be running this afternoon (if the weather holds up), trying to squeeze it in between my two jobs that I will be working today. My hope for today, though, is that I don't need it in quite the same way as I did yesterday!

Goals Reached!

2009-10-22T06:37:00.002-04:00

Today is turning out to be a good day.

I woke up this morning to hear that the Phillies won the National League Championship game and will be in the World Series. I haven't been able to get any of the NL playoff games since I live in MD and do not have cable. Luckily, I was able to see part of the game last night thanks to a special someone. =) However, I couldn't stay awake for the entire game. So, when I woke up, the first thing I did was check the score. Another trip to the World Series for Philadelphia!!!

In addition the the Phils big win, I learned that thanks to the generosity of some wonderful people, team George's Song reached its fundraising goal! I am so thrilled that so many people came together to make this happen this year.

I can almost visualize my dad smiling down from heaven because of the tremendous support of so many friends and family and because there most likely will be a Phillies vs Yankees World Series. That is something that he always talked about wanting to see (yes, in 1950, there was a Phils Yanks World Series).

As I sit here getting ready for my day, I realize how grateful I am for so many things. I am not going to list all of those things now, but I do want to take some time to thank those who helped my team reach its goal. Please view the George's Song team page for more information.

A special thanks goes out to all of those who have donated to this cause in memory of dad:

Sarang A, Nathan B, John C, Bob & JoAnne E, Kevin H, Judy H, Craig J, Geoff M, Carlye L, Karin P, Ian S, Saunders Family, Lisa & Brian W.

Current Team Members:

Joe C, Carlye L, Mike L, Halina O, & Todd P

Life Lessons

2009-10-19T12:43:00.002-04:00

As I think back over the last few months, I realized that I was too trusting. I was blinded by the words of someone who I thought was a good friend say Jane. Never did I think that I would be in the same situation as the someone (I'll call him John) I helped Jane leave in June. Now, after this mess that happened in September/October, did I question myself at first? Of course. Who wouldn't! However, I soon found the situation ironic. In a matter of only a few months the things that Jane said about John started to be said about me too. I looked back and realized that the stuff that Jane did to John was being done to me too. This person Jane even convinced some of our mutual friends not to be friends with me.

I fought with myself over my actions wondering if I did the right thing. I prayed, and went to church. It was in church where we were given a snippet of some thing that Mother Teresa said. I googled it to get the whole quote.

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, People may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, They may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway. -- Mother Teresa

Looking back on my situation, I realized two things. The first is that this person Jane who I called a friend, did the same thing to John months before. I did make the grave error of judging person John. I realize my mistakes and have taken action to atone for my mistakes. The second thing I realized is that so much of what Mother Teresa discusses in her quote had in fact happened. So much of her quote can be used in any and all life situations.

The bottom line is that I know that I am a good person. I can give my all and it will never be good enough for some people. I can be kind and create false friendships. No matter what I do, no one is ever going to fully agree with everything I do, but it isn't them that I have to please. I just have to live my life trying to be the best person I can be. With that will come heartache and pain, but I know, when this life is over, my actions and life decisions in this world are between me and God. His judgment is what is important and the judgment that actually matters.

So, to quote the Barenaked Ladies, another "chapter read and lesson learned."

Life lesson - Live your life. Don't judge others. Stay true to yourself. Be the best person that you can be.

Did you know?

2009-10-15T17:47:00.000-04:00

Did you know that lung cancer is the #1 cancer killer of American men and women; it kills more people than breast, prostate, colon, liver, kidney and melanoma cancers COMBINED?

Did you know that lung cancer kills almost twice as many American women as breast cancer annually?

Did you know that 1 in 13 men and 1 in 16 women will get lung cancer in their lifetimes?

Did yo know that over half of all new cases of lung cancer are diagnosed in non-smokers?

Did you know that because of the stigma associated with lung cancer, research for lung cancer receives only a fraction of the funding that other cancers receive?

Did you know that lung cancer research gets 6 cents for every $1 in breast cancer research.

Did you know that 440 people died today of this disease - and will tomorrow, and the next day?

Did you know that this is the disease that took my dad's life on November 19, 2007?

Because of my dad, and what I learned from doing this event last year, I am planning to continue to run this race in order to help raise money for this terrible disease. I was hoping that you and maybe others would be able to help me out. I have full details on my fundraising web site: http://participate.freetobreathe.org/goto/GeorgesSong. The race this year is Sunday, November1, 2009.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Please pass the information along to anyone who you think would be interested.

A special thanks goes out to all of those who have donated to this cause in 2009: Nathan B, John C, Judy H, Craig J, Lisa & Brian W.

Current Team Members: Joe C, Carlye L, Michael L,& Todd P

Free to Breathe in 19 Days!!

2009-10-13T07:11:00.007-04:00

November 1st is quickly approaching...only 19 days left!!! Already over 1,000 people are registered for this event in Philadelphia. With sincere thanks to those who have already joined my team or donated, please consider walking or running with me that morning. You can also support my team by donating (already reached 8% of team goal) . Lung cancer research gets 6 cents for every $1 in breast cancer research. 440 people died today of this disease - and will tomorrow, and the next day. Help me change this by clicking on the link for George's Song. Don't forget, your donation is tax deductible!

A special thanks goes out to all of those who have donated to this cause: Nathan B, John C., Judy H., Craig J., Lisa & Brian W.

Current Team Members: Joe C., Todd P.

Slow down, your moving too fast

2009-10-05T06:54:00.003-04:00

As I was driving to work today, I was admiring the beautiful sunrise and watching other drivers be very reckless. I must have had a sign on my truck that said please drive crazy around me. I was behind a vehicle on Pierce Road that was swerving all over the place. When I was stopped behind this car, I breathed a sigh of relief when it appeared they were turning right (at least s/he used a turn signal) and I was going left. At the last minute, the driver changed their mind, made a left, almost hitting another car.

A bit later, I was behind two vehicles still going above the speed limit. The car in between us, decided that the lead car was going too slow and decided to pass. I don't know where this driver's brain was since he pulled out to pass right into oncoming cars. They were able to swerve, but it was still a close call.

Finally, I made it to the light at the college. It turns green, and I start to pull through. I notice that a GMC pickup truck is not stopping at the red light that she has. I beep my horn and slam on my breaks. I happened to pass the person who ran her red light, and it turns out, it is Agnes M. who works at the college. I did try and say something to her, but she proceeded to ignore me and then sped off very carelessly yet again. Apparently, it didn't bother her at all when she ran a red light and almost caused an accident.

All I could hear this morning was my dad singing in my ear. "Slow down, your moving too fast. Got to make those good times last..."

As his words are echoing in my head, I realized there is much truth to the words he would sing to us. I had to wonder how many of those people driving this morning saw the amazing purplish pink sky coming over the farm houses this morning. I wonder how many people just continued their everyday routine not bothering to enjoy the world around them. My advice today is very cliche, but it means so much right now. Take the time to slop down, enjoy the wonders around you, even stop to smell the roses before the first frost. Life is too short not to enjoy the beautiful things it has to offer. Happy Monday.

Blue Skies

2009-09-18T07:00:00.003-04:00

So lately, life has presented many challenges all at once. Sometimes we get wrapped up in all the negative surrounding us that we forget about the good. Yes, Friday, my truck flooded and I was stuck at the shop. However, one of my good friends, left work to give me a ride home. Sunday, I was lucky enough to have my friend from college drive down with her family. I got to spend a wonderful afternoon with friends and football. Then, the week provided contact from not one but two old friends from high school (I still have to call back the one).

These are all the little things that we tend to overlook when we feel stressed with the world around us. So now, I am going to go sit outside and enjoy the beautiful day with the amazing blue sky while I do some online math tutoring. I can't wait to see what the rest of the day will bring.

Hope you are all able to enjoy this beautiful day!

Love and Life - Questions Answered

2009-09-13T11:17:00.006-04:00

"Why is falling in love so painful, and life so sad?" This is a question that one of my friends posted on her Facebook Status. It is something that I am sure all of us have asked ourselves over and over again. When I sat down to analyze this statement as I so often will do, I realized that some love is in fact painful. However, I don't believe real love is painful.

Real love is very different. If you truly love someone, then you respect them for who they are, warts and all. You want to look after them and protect them; you look out for them and put them first; you feel happy and content in their company and enjoy being together. Above all you can be yourself when you're with them. You never try to be anything more or someone different because you don't need to. You don't have to impress them to win them over and you never have to play games to make them like you. There is trust and understanding on both sides and you feel safe and secure within yourself. You would never undermine them; they are not someone in whose company you feel threatened or small. They are someone with whom you can share your innermost thoughts and worries, a person with whom you should be able to share anything, they are your friend and your confidante and you can be honest with them at all times, you can tell them anything because they love you as you are.

S/he may be someone who is the direct opposite of you. On the surface you may seem like chalk and cheese. You may be loud and forceful while they may be quiet and thoughtful. You may come from different backgrounds, different countries, or be twenty years apart but this doesn't matter. There is an unspoken language between you, the spiritual connection between you both is so deep that you seem to be able to communicate without even speaking to each other. You are happy to lie in silence together. You feel sometimes that there is no need to talk because you feel that you know what they are thinking anyway. You feel so close to them that sometimes you think you could almost read their mind. You know when they are worried, in pain, or sad just by looking at them. It is as though there exists some kind of telepathy between you. Real love stands the test of time, you laugh together, cry together and even have your differences but this doesn't matter, you love that person and their failings. You come together in a crisis and work through things together and this just brings you closer. You take their feelings into consideration in all that you do. They are the most important person in your life!

This describes my parents love for each other. Real love is out there. The part that is painful is when we don't find real love. Real love is something to cherish. Falling into real love is never painful, it is a gradual, warm process that makes you feel complete.

As for life being sad. Well, yes, it is at times. But, never forget all of life's beautiful moments. Take the time each day to pick somethings out of the day that is amazing or beautiful. It could be the blue skies, a baby's laugh, or even a sunrise/sunset. Life is how we view it.

When it Rain it Pours

2009-09-08T19:51:00.002-04:00

Today was one of those days that I wish just never happened or would speed through to bring on better times. I can't even begin with the day of teaching. We will just chalk that up to work stuff. However, when I got home from teaching, I was greeted by the wondrous smell of dog diarrhea. My poor dog, Chess, got sick....really sick. I am still trying to get it all off of my floor and determine what caused it. In the meantime, anyone know how to get that crap out of crevasses in a wood floor? Suggestions are welcome! I think I have washed the floor 20+ times and it still smells!!!

I got the mess cleaned up, and I sat down just in time to start tutoring. When I had some down time tutoring, I opened my mail only to see that I supposedly overdraft my Savings account. Who does that? I don't have anything that draws from my savings. Or so I thought... The wonders of modern technology allowed me to log in to my account and figure out what happened. Apparently, when the person at the bank ordered my checks, she linked the account to my Savings account and not my checking account. Sigh. At least the bank admitted they made a mistake and reimbursed me for the charges. Hopefully, the checks that "bounced" will all be taken care of too.

In the meantime, while still tutoring, I was attempting for 3 hours to return the call of the doctor. It took 3 hours before I got a real person who told me that the doctor would call back in 30 minutes. I had minor surgery to remove cancerous cells back in May/June. I went for my three month check up a week ago hoping and praying that it would be fine. That was not the case hence the call from the doc. So now, I will have to have yet another biopsy done in October. I am really not ready to go through this procedure again. Now begins the hoping that someone is free on October 7th to take me to the doctor.

By now, I wanted to crawl under a rock. Instead, I had to get the grass cut. I got most of it done before it decided to rain. Rain and crass cutting just don't go well together. I don't mind it, but my mower and riding mower (lawn tractor as we call it in NJ) just was not amused by the rain. I just wasn't meant to finish anything today.

As I finally sit down to get some work done, I am very disappointed with the quality of assignments that were turned in today. I think this grading will just have to wait until tomorrow.

The worst part of today is that I didn't even get to exercise today! No runs, no Insanity program, no bike rides, no stress relief.

Needless to say, I am looking forward to going to sleep early and ending this day. I need tomorrow to bring a better day. It will happen. Tomorrow will be better!

Good night all! Here's to better days!

Rules for Driving in NJ

2009-09-04T13:06:00.002-04:00

So, I am not this creative to write out these rules. I actually saw this posted on my friend's Facebook page (thanks Lauren L.!) and thought I would share. =)

Seriously, there are only two things needed to drive effectively in NJ:
A horn and a middle finger. Everything else is superfluous, Including knowing where you are going.

For those of you who live in Jersey or have lived there, these things may come as no surprise. For those who haven't traveled there before, Beware, Be Prepared and Be Afraid...Be Very Afraid ..

(Maybe you should just pull over onto the side of the road and begin crying hysterically...NOW!)

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name; it is Nork - rhymes with Fork, not New-ark. Also, Trenton is not pronounced Tren-ton, it is Tren' in.

2. The morning rush hour is from 5 AM to NOON. The evening rush hour is from NOON to 7 PM. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3. The minim um acceptable speed on the turnpike is 85mph. On the parkway it's 105 or 110. Anything less is considered "Sissy." (Just ask the Governor of NJ)

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Jersey has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second; However, in Monmouth and Burlington counties, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone. EVER ! Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of Jersey. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubber-neckers, shredded tires, cell-phoners, deer and other road kill, and the homeless feeding on any of these items.

9. MapQuest does NOT work here -- none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do and all the Turnpike EZ Pass lanes are moved each night, once again to make your ride more exciting.

10. If someone actually has the Turn Signal ON, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

12. Do not try to estimate travel time -- just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday appointments, and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.

SAFE DRIVING!!!

Hope you enjoyed! Happy driving in good old NJ!

Eagles and the NFL

2009-08-14T08:07:00.003-04:00

I know I haven't blogged much in the last few months, but I have been swamped with work and school. Yesterday, I started my football routine again. Boy how much I missed watching the game. I was however very disappointed when I learned that the Eagles signed Michael Vick. Now, I know that there have been other players who have been convicted of crimes and still allowed to play in the NFL.

That is what I don't understand. The NFL as an organization, and each individual team can set guidelines for dress code in which a player will get fined if he does not follow the code. If something like that can be done for what I would call a minor infraction, why can't the NFL set a policy on players who get convicted of a crime?

There is no way that anyone who has been convicted of a crime be allowed to play in the NFL. These players are roll models for lots of people. What kind of example is it setting where you can go to jail and then go on with life like nothing happened. For normal, that would not be the case.

In 2006, Greg Aiello, the NFL's vice president of public relations said in an email that "most NFL players are good citizens, and some are outstanding citizens. It's a small percentage of the 2,000 players in our league that becomes involved in incidents that do not reflect well on the NFL. We have policies and programs to deal aggressively with those issues, and we will continue to do so. The goal is to eliminate all such negative conduct. That may not be realistic, but that is the goal."

So if it is such a small percentage, why not have more drastic measures, like being banned from the NFL, when negative conduct (such as being convicted of a crime) occurs?

Judging Others

2009-06-25T06:46:00.002-04:00

Last night, I was talking to someone who happened to be a pastor, which I thought was really cool. However, I was quite taken back by the fact that he judged me by having pictures on Facebook with people I dated. He thought I was not over those people. I did explain that those experiences are ones that have made me the person I am today. I am glad that those relationships have occurred because I was able to learn so much from them. I am also glad that they are over. I also stated that pictures are my life. I have lots of pictures that tell the story of my life both good and bad. I will not just throw them out or delete them. Well, apparently, I got judged not only by someone I didn't really know too well, but by a man of God.

I instantly thought of a passage in a book I am reading called The Shack by William Young. The passage reads:

Besides, you have judged many throughout your life. You have judged the actions and even the motivations of others, as if you somehow knew what those were in truth. You have judged the color of skin and body language and body odor. You have judged history and relationships. You have even judged the value of a person's life by the quality of your concept of beauty. By all accounts, you are quite well-practiced in the activity.

As sad as it is, too many of us pass judgment on others before we even get to know a person. When we judge someone, we are forming an opinion of them based on our fears, pride, or ignorance.

I have been working really hard on not judging people, and I challenge you to do the same today. Hopefully, you will find the peace in getting to know someone without passing judgment. It will help you build a different relationship with that person.

Father's Day Without My Dad

2009-06-21T23:32:00.003-04:00

Father's Day can be a traumatic day for those of us whose fathers have died. Whether it's been six months or six years since Dad passed away, we have to somehow get through the day as well as remember and honor Dad's life. I can't say that it does not get any easier with the passing of time. It gets different, however, and at some point you may even look forward to doing some special thing every Father's Day in your Dad's honor.

Although this Father's Day, I didn't get the opportunity to share in the good memories of my dad with others, but I did keep those memories to myself. I did get to do things that reminded me of him.

One of my good friends Andi and I went to church this morning. I could almost hear my dad singing next to me (he was the music minister at my church in NJ) in church. Oh how he loved singing. After church, we went back to my house and weeded the vegetable garden. I could hear the stories he told about the first vegetable garden that he and my mom planted when she was pregnant with me. I could almost hear him telling me to watch where I was stepping so I wouldn't step on the plants.

I thought that after this I would work in my yard, but I had to put that off until tomorrow. Instead, I took a nap not realizing that I was emotionally drained. I did dream of Dad and the things we used to do.

Later that day, I spent the evening with my good friend Kathy's family. They have sort of adopted me so I did get to spend Father's Day with my "adopted" dad. It was a difficult time as I remembered how much my Dad loved to have gatherings. He loved cookouts and entertaining.

If you are reading this post and your Dad is still with you, please take some time not only this Father’s Day but everyday and tell him how much he means to you. Time goes by so fast and only God knows how much time we have left on this Earth. I never thought my Dad would die while I was only in my 20s. I am sure anyone who has ever lost a loved one knows exactly how I feel. Life is too short.

Happy Father’s Day. I love you Dad!

Happy Father's Day
by Tami Blackwell

Give 'em a hug, a great big kiss.
Because one day, he will be greatly missed.

My daddy has gone far away from this land,
I miss the precious touch of his loving hands.

I never knew last year was the last day,
I could look at my daddy, hug him, and say:
"I love you, Daddy! Happy Father's Day!"

Don't let one day go by without telling him
how dear he is!
Remember you may not have another year to tell him this!

All I have now is great memories, a heart
full of love and eyes full of tears, and
to remember his love throughout the years.

Now I will have to look up at the stars and
say, "I love you, Daddy! Happy Father's Day!"

He's Just not that into You

2009-06-20T09:12:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, my friends and I had a girls night. There was homemade pasta, yummy dessert, movies, and french braiding. One of the movies we watched was "He's Just Not That Into You" (which was amusing).

According to one review site, “He’s Just Not That Into You” tells the stories of a group of interconnected, Baltimore-based twenty- and thirty somethings as they navigate their various relationships from the shallow end of the dating pool through the deep, murky waters of married life, trying to read the signs of the opposite sex… and hoping to be the exceptions to the “no-exceptions” rule.

If I learned anything from this movie it has to be the following:
• An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of "ruining the friendship."

• Don't get tricked into asking him out. If he likes you, he'll do the asking.

• If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.

• Just because you like to lead doesn't mean he wants to dance. Some traditions are born of nature and last through time for a reason.

• "Hey, let's meet at so-and-so's party/any bar/friend's house" is not a date. Even if you live in New York.

• Men don't forget how much they like you. So put down the phone.

• You are good enough to be asked out.

So let's see what happens! =)

Living in the Present

2009-06-09T06:21:00.004-04:00

I can't tell you how much my life has changed since I started living in the present and not dwelling on the past or future. I can't tell you how much my life has changed since I started letting go. I can't tell you how much my life has changed since I stopped trying to control everything in my life.

While I believe I was living in the present before, in reality, I wasn't. I was still more focused on what had happened and what will happen then what was happening in that very moment. It was the thoughts on the past, thing that I couldn't change that were killing me. I spent more time dwelling in the past then living my life. I needed to let go of the past (which is easier said than done). I needed to stop trying to control everything in my life. I started to trust God again.

When I first started this process, I actually had to make a list of all the things I was thankful for in my life at this moment. Now, when I start my day, I make sure I start it with a smile. I try to do something nice for someone. Finally, I make sure that I notice at least one thing that I find beautiful in a day.

Since I have started working on these ideas, I have felt more at peace with myself. It is a feeling that I can't really put into words (though I tried yesterday when talking to my friend). I just know that everything will work out in the end.

Some quotes to leave you with...
“We must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle and mystery.” H. G. Wells

"When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us." Alexander Graham Bell

"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present." Babatunde Olatunji

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Spring time fun

2009-06-07T08:17:00.002-04:00

I love the spring. The weather is cool, the days are long, and there is so much to do. My friend Kathy and I stayed quite busy today. We were originally going to go to the beach, but our plans changed. Instead, we went to an auction. I forgot how much fun auctions were, and it brought back many memories of my childhood and my dad. These were great memories, and I just had to smile remembering the good times spent with my dad. Anyway, Kathy and I did bid on a few items, but we lost.

After the auction, we drove around in the country and eventually to the end of the county. On the drive, we found a great spot to go the beach. It is very quite which I love. I am looking forward to planning a day trip here. Keep posted for that.

Ike's was next on our list. Ike is an Amish farmer who has beautiful flowers and lots of vegetable plants. We picked up a red, white, and blue flower arrangement, a watermelon plant, a squash plant, some more basil (you can never have enough basil), mint, raw milk, butter, and other stuff that I know I am forgetting about.

On the way home, we stopped to pick strawberries. I so love strawberries!!

We finally got back to my house around dinner time. We made pickles, and somehow I turned the garlic blue (actually, this is normal. Thanks Mama F. and Google for the explanation!) We made ravioli with a pesto sauce that I overloaded with garlic. Next time, I will so follow the recipe!

Today, I am off to spend the day with my friends Jae, Liyang, and their 2 year old son. I just love the so much. Here's to a great day!!

Book reviews, tutoring, and great friends

2009-06-04T06:29:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, I spent the day reviewing a math book and appkying for online tutoring jobs. Now, book reviews in general, is something that my friend Andi is a pro at doing. Check out some of her reviews. However, reviewing the math book was...different. I hope to be able to review some more books soon as it is a great way to contribute to my roof fund. In addition, I spent the day applying for various online tutoring jobs which will also contribute to my roof fund.

It is funny. I really thought I would be super stressed about the roof and finding a way to pay for it. Yes, it is on my mind, but I am not stressing over it. I gave my problem to God and asked for His help. I have this great feeling that everything will work out even though I can't see how at the current moment. For me, this idea of not knowing the solution is normally very difficult for me to handle. Even my job as a math professor requires me to know the solution or be able to find the solution quickly. The idea of giving everything over to God to find the solution is scary and so not like me. However, I have found that I am a much calmer, less stressed person because of it. I know everything will work out somehow.

Last night, my friends Andi and Kathy came over and we made a delicious dinner. We started out with a salad with oranges, dried cranberries, roasted walnuts, and fried goat cheese drizzled with a raspberry vinaigrette salad dressing. Dinner consisted of ravioli in a brown butter sage sauce. In addition, we had Ruth C bread which is bread stuffed with butter, cheese, garlic, and fresh parsley. Pretty tasty stuff!

I can't thank Kathy enough for coming up with the dinner night idea. It has been wonderful. Not only do we get to spend time with great friends, but I learn how to cook. Not to mention, we all get to experience new foods. Kathy is quite the cook!

I can't thank Andi enough for helping me to find God again. I have always tried to live the Christian life, but I struggled with my Catholic faith after my dad died. Andi help me to rekindle that relationship with God which has helped me greatly.

What great friends I have!

Cancer Free!

2009-06-02T16:39:00.001-04:00

Today, I received awesome news. I learned that the cancerous cells I had were successfully removed. What a huge weight off of my shoulders that has been there since January. I am so thankful for all the prayers and support that I received from everyone. Now, I get to begin a new stage in life.

I can't thank God enough for answering my prayers. I feel like I have successfully let Him into my life. I can't even begin to tell you what a difference it has made. I feel relaxed and okay with the fact that I am not in control of my life. What a great feeling. I hope everyone at some point does choose to let God into their lives.

A letter from Mr. Right

2009-05-30T18:43:00.003-04:00

Today was a great day. I spent the morning mowing my lawn which I really love to do. I went to the library and picked up some books and DVDs. I laid on my hammock and read a 360 page book like it was nothing. I connected with a new friend. Life is good.

Of course, somewhere in all that, I did take some time to think about me and what I want in life and if I will ever meet that someone special. I stopped myself from my crazy thoughts and gave my questions and requests to God. I finished my book, came in to check my email, and received this letter (author unknown to me) that I would like to share with you. In a way, I feel like God was reaching out to me in a way I would understand...email.

Dear (your name here),

You don't know me but I'm the spirit of Mr. Right. Everyday that passes I know it is one day closer to being with you. Yes, I'm out there waiting for the day to be with. I wish I could be there now to be your closest friend with you, to be the perfect husband for you, and to be a special part of being parents with you. To travel,laugh, talk, caress, defend, support, encourage, love, and pleasantly surprise you are just some of the things I long for...I want to be strong enough to be your man and be there for you in every way. To make the rest of our lives so special that it makes this time worth the
wait.

I've heard you are worried I won’t be there for you. I'm sorry I've caused you to feel that way,you see..although you feel YOU are unlucky or a late bloomer...it is really me who is the late bloomer because for as long as you have been looking for me I am still unworthy to be with you yet. I am experiencing things in my life that is molding me to become the best for both of us. To be the man, friend, lover, and husband you deserve. I'm the late bloomer NOT YOU so forgive me and wait for me till god decides our paths should cross. When you feel that the loneliness is unbearable think that I will be there soon. When you feel the pain think of me, for mine is deeper because I know you are ready to be with me right now but I have not yet developed enough to deserve you. I will be ready soon so stay strong for me and know it will be worth it. Until then, trust in God. He will always be with you.

Love,
Mr. Right

I trust in God. I know He loves me and He knows what’s best. He knows my desire to have a partner to love and cherish and to share life with. I don’t want to be in doubt that in some way, He will complete me even if I never find my Mr. Right.

Dating

2009-05-28T05:59:00.004-04:00

Dating in today's world with all the technology is really just nuts. Technology can be great don't get me wrong but it can also be very frustrating. It easier for people to ignore your communication instead of being honest and saying I'm not interested. Granted if people can't respond, why would you want to date them.

So here are two dating situation that I find amusing now:

The first one happened a while back. I went out on a few dates with this guy. He made me dinner one night, so, I put my fears aside, and offered to make him dinner for our 5th date. He agreed and we talked pretty regularly up until that night. So 6:00 came and passed. 6:30 came and passed. I gave him a call to make sure he wasn't lost. No answer. Apparently, I got stood up in my own house for reasons I will never know.
The second is a more recent situation. I went out with this guy (different then above =) ) a few times. I thought things were going well. Heck, he even sent me flowers. After I got the flowers, I tried to contact him with little success. I did get an email stating he didn't think we should see each other anymore. How someone goes from sending flowers to just kidding, I will never know.

Now granted, it is tough for me to take down my walls when I first meet someone. It takes me some time to trust someone to show them my heart. For me, I think I put up walls not to keep others out but to see who cares enough to tear them down.

I want one guy to prove to me that they are not all the same. I am still waiting and looking for this person to be my partner in life. Until then, I am standing alone which isn't a bad thing. Someone once said, "when you are forced to stand alone, you realize what you have in you." Well, I am realizing a lot about myself which is a good thing.

I will keep searching for that person who loves me for me. I will keep meeting interesting people. I will keep learning about me. And, I am sure, I will keep finding myself in interesting situations (like above) that will bring laughter to life. Happy searching! =)

Roof Donations

2009-05-27T13:29:00.004-04:00

Well, today I had to face the inevitable. I need to replace my roof. I knew this was coming soon after I found water damage in the storage area in my guest room. I was hoping to be able to put off this project for another year or so. I had a few estimates an inspections done on the roof. Apprarently, it is worse then I thought and needs to be replaced very soon. So I am looking at spending a decent amount of money on this unforseen project. Any donations for this project would be much appreciated! I mean, it can't hurt to ask. =)

Why are you still single?

2009-05-26T15:21:00.001-04:00

Why are you still single? You're bright and attractive and have a nice sense of humor. You own a house, have a great job, have great friends but you are missing that one person to share these aspects of your life with.

Why are you still single? This is a question that I really don't like to be asked mainly because people thing it is a bad thing. I mean, it isn't like I am dying from a rare disease or anything. I am tempted half of the time to say something out of the blue like "well, I just got out of prison" or "being on America's Most Wanted list makes things tough." Granted neither of these statements are true, but at this point, it would almost be worth it just to see the reaction.

Why are you still single? This question is usually followed by a "you are such a great person" or "you are so sweet." Well, if that was the only criteria for not being single, then I would have been married years ago. Sadly, there are a lot of people out there who aren't good people or who don't appreciate the good people.

Why are you still single? I have just learned to answer this question with "I just haven't found the right person yet." Usually that works, but there are some situations where this only opens a can of worms. More questions to answer.

Why are you still single? Being single isn't a terrible thing. There are times that I wish I had that special person to share my life with. Right now, that is not where I am supposed to be in life. I have to trust that God has a plan for me. Of course, this isn't easy for me to do especially since I like to be in control of my life. But, trusting my life to God has been fulfilling. I have met some really great people along the way.

Why are you still single? It is what it is.

Mystery Gift and Person

2009-05-26T07:18:00.003-04:00

Today, I came into work to start teaching the summer session. I got to my office and saw a bag hanging on my door with my name on it. Upon inspection, I found an Eagles visor and an Eagles sweatshirt. I have no idea who this wonderful gift is from. Whoever it is, they know that I am a visor person and not a hat person!

I just want to send my heartfelt thanks to this mystery person. Your thoughtfulness is much appreciated it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Now off to teach!

Dreams really do come true

2009-05-22T07:40:00.003-04:00

On Tuesday, I had the pleasure of having minor surgery to remove precancerous cells. While waiting for the procedure, we got word that my doctor would be late. A 40-year old woman gave birth to triplets. Although the kids were healthy, the mom had some issues which held up the doctor. Bottom line is that everyone came out healthy. What a miracle and what a dream come true for that family.

Something about this whole experience made me realize how dreams do come true even if we don't realize it. Most of the time we are caught up in what we don't have probably due to the "American way". We must have everything now.

Over the last three years of living in Maryland, I haven't had the best of luck. However, I started to realize all the dreams of mine that did come true. Here are only a few that I wanted to share:

Bought my own house
Have a large property with a creek
Have a great set of close friends
Have a great job
Been able to travel the world
Have 3 wonderful Border Collies
Working on my doctoral degree

So here is the goal for you today: Stop and think about all your dreams that have come true and don't dwell on what hasn't happened yet.

It's Veggie Time!

2009-05-17T07:22:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was a good day. I got the pleasure of being able to go hiking with a great group of people. We probably hiked for 8 miles in Susquehanna State Park in Harford County Maryland. This state park was beautiful.

After the hike, some of my friends came over the help prepare a spot for our community vegetable/fruit garden. We thought the whole process would take about 30 minutes using my neighbors rototiller. Well, as Andi said, it was the saddest rototiller that you ever saw. It didn't cut through the grass. So John K, Andi, and I proceeded to did the approximately 10 x 30 foot garden by hand. This process did not take 30 minutes as originally planned, but it took 3 hours. God bless John and Andi for not giving up and making the best out of the situation.

As of now, our garden contains plants from some generous folks. We have

blackberries
tomatoes and peppers from Kathy and Diane
Squash from Diane
Broccoli, Cauliflower, and lettuce from Kathy

Not to mention the bountiful plants that Andi's parents are bringing which I believe includes cucumbers, beans, more tomatoes, pumpkins, and anything else I might have missed. Of course, they are also bringing a compost bin that her dad made.

Working on this community garden just reminds be of the goodness in people. I can't wait to share the "fruits" of the garden with my friends.

Cuddling Application

2009-05-08T16:45:00.001-04:00

Basic Information:

Name:
Age:
Sex:
Height:
Pant Size:
Shoe Size:
=================================================

Simple Questions:

1. How much have you cuddled before?:
2. Do you think I want to snuggle with you?:
3. If not, then why are you filling this out?:
4. What's your favorite snuggle position?[if you dont know what this is then you lose]:
5. Do you give good massages?:
6. Where do you want to cuddle?:
7. How long do you like to cuddle?:
8. Do you like falling asleep while snuggling?:
9. Do you enjoy music while cuddling?:
10. Do you switch positions mid-cuddle?:
11. How many people have you cuddled with?:
12. Are you a cuddle-whore?:

========================================================

Essay Questions:

Please answer the remaining questions in paragraph form.

1. Why do you want to cuddle with me?

2. Why do you want to apply for this position?

3. Do you have any other experience, training, qualifications, or skills which you feel should be brought to attention?

Fireproof & Abundant Thinking

2009-04-28T06:03:00.000-04:00

The last few days, it seems the theme of abundant thinking/living and letting go has been the theme.

It started in Sunday school. We are reading the book Captivating by Stasi and John Eldredge. It is amazing how so many people struggle with letting things go. How many people, myself included, try to control the situation.

In church, the pastor preached about the idea of abundant versus scarcity living. He went on to say that God has given each of us the ability to live abundantly. He described a boy who lived a scarcity life that was put into a room full of toys and could not bring himself to have fun. He described another boy who was put into a room filled with horse manure and that boy took it upon himself to look for a pony in that room. I don't know about you, but I was to work to have the attitude of the second boy. He found himself in a less than desirable situation (by most of our standards) but made the best out of it.

Last night, I watched a movie called Fireproof. Now, while I didn't feel that the movie had the best acting, I thought it compared understanding marriage from a man-centered perspective with doing so from a God-centered perspective. It showed the more self-centered and individualistic understanding of marriage and love we find pervading popular culture. And, in the end, it shows how important real love is. When you have that unconditional love, marriage becomes less about personal fulfillment and selfish desires, and more about honoring the perfect relationship.

The main character, Caleb, started out with a very selfish attitude at home and lived a live of scarcity. However, he learned how to change this outlook on life, to stop trying to control his life and the lives of others, how to live abundantly, and how to love unconditionally.

I hope that I can begin my journey of living abundantly, letting go, and loving unconditionally. I know that this will be a constant daily struggle, but it is definitely one that is worth the work. I challenge you to try to do the same.

Shark Tooth Necklace

2009-04-27T06:44:00.002-04:00

As some of you know, I was jogging and got run off the road by a car. That lead to having to be in an air cast for about a month. Well, one of my colleagues got me a shark tooth necklace down in Baltimore, MD. She said it was to offer protection.

What I didn't know was that the ancient Hawaiians wore shark tooth necklaces to fend off danger and protect them. The shark is an 'amakua (guardian spirit or family protector) to certain Hawaiian families and wearing a sharks tooth necklace helps one connect with that 'amakua.

I can tell you that I'll be wearing that necklace the next time I go running!

What my Dogs have taught me about Love

2009-04-25T18:21:00.002-04:00

Spring is a time when many of us turn our thoughts to love, and I've been thinking about real love. Specifically, love as it's defined in 1 Corinthians 13, the "love" chapter.

Anyone who's been to a wedding has probably heard this passage read during the ceremony: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

While it's a great reminder for husbands and wives about how they should treat each other, the passage isn't really about romantic love. It's about loving everybody the way God loves us, unconditionally and with compassion and service and the best interests of the other party always at heart. Everybody, every day, in every situation.

That's a nice thought, but not something that's easy to live out in real life. Last week I wanted to bean some guy who pulled out in front of me and almost caused an accident. I was more than a little frustrated two days ago for no other reason than I was tired and hungry and everyone was getting on my nerves. While I consider myself a compassionate person who truly seeks God, I've assumed the worst about people and been wrong, lost my temper, been impatient, and turned my head to avoid someone in need.

It is one thing to read the instructions, but I'm not sure how often we get to see the "love chapter" in action. Then I realized that I have an example of unconditional love literally at my fingertips, in the form of my Border collies.

I know you're probably thinking that it's irreverent to compare God's love to a dog's love, but if you think about it, the way a dog looks at life can be a very tangible example of the way God expects us to treat each other. So here are a few things I've learned about love from my dog:

Greet strangers as if they were old friends.
Know that everyone you meet needs a little love, even if they don't come right out and say it.
Sometimes your natural enemy turns out to be your best friend.
Take time to greet your friends every day, even if it's just a quick woof over the fence before you tend to more pressing business.
If you're so happy to see someone that you want to jump up and down and make a lot of noise, you should, even if it means making a fool of yourself.
There's more than enough room on the couch for everyone.If someone you love is hurting and you can't say anything, just kiss away the tears.
When someone throws a ball, you'll have more fun if you bring it back and share it than if you horde it for yourself under the kitchen table.
You should admit you're sorry, even if no one knows (yet) that you've been bad.

Our sinful and selfish human nature wants to hold a grudge, argue, and ignore our neighbor. But love isn't rocket science - always think the best of other people, ask for forgiveness, forgive, forget, laugh and cry together. From a willing heart actions will follow and while we're never going to love as perfectly as the Creator does, as we grow closer to our own Master we'll grow in our ability to love others with His perfect love.

And if you forget what that looks like in real life, just watch your dog.

Free to Breathe 11/01/09

2009-04-23T12:15:00.002-04:00

It is about that time of year again to start thinking about the 5K race in November.

Why am I doing this?

As you know, I lost my dad, a non-smoker, to lung cancer in November 2007. He was 66 years old. Although lung cancer was his secondary cancer (it spread to his lungs from squamous cell cancer at the base of the tongue), it is the cancer that took his life in November 19, 2007.

It was an extremely difficult time for my family then and now. The entire experience is something that has taught me a lot about life. It is also something that I have to deal with on a daily basis. I decided that I needed to do something to honor my dad and best friend.

How can you help??

Option 1 - Donate online (easiest)
Donating through this website is simple, fast, and totally secure. It is also the most efficient way to support my efforts in raising money for the National Lung Cancer Partnership. Your donation will support a comprehensive approach to fighting lung cancer through research, patient support, community outreach and advocacy for a cure.
Donation for Team George's Song
Donation for me

Option 2 - Donate offline!
If you are not comfortable making an online donation, you are welcome to mail me a personal check. Please make sure the check is made out to "The National Lung Cancer Partnership". In the memo field, please write "Free to Breathe - PA 11/1/09". Again, your donation will support the National Lung Cancer Partnership.

Option 3 - Join my team!
I am putting a team together called George's Song for the Free to Breathe run (or walk) in memory of my dad, George Erickson. Yes, I am planning to run the 5K. So, I am looking for teammates to run a 5K (3.1 miles) in this race. You also have the option to walk a 5K or just walk a mile in this race. If you are interested, then please join the team George's Song. You will then be given the option to do your own fundraising for the National Lung Cancer Partnership.
Click to join the team!

Option 4 - Volunteer!
Free to Breathe depends on the kindness and dedication of volunteers to make the event a success and ensure that we accomplish our mission. A variety of volunteer opportunities exist, and whether part of the planning committee or event day festivities each person makes a difference. Volunteering is a great way to be involved with Free to Breathe! We can use your help with outreach, promotion and planning as well as on the day of event.
Click here for all the possibilities to volunteer!

Simple Things in Life

2009-04-19T19:57:00.000-04:00

All too often we take for granted the little things in life, i.e., electricity, running water, our health, life's conveniences, etc. and don't realize the impact they have on our everyday lives until we're without them.

I value other little things in life -- a kind word, simple gesture, a smile -- but have often taken for granted the above until I've been faced to live without them.

This weekend, I took the time to enjoy the little things in life. Saturday morning was a beautiful day. The sun was shinning, there was little wind, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. I spend the first half of the morning laying in the grass playing with my dogs just soaking up the sun.

What are some of the simple things in life you value and those that you sometimes take for granted without even knowing it?

Patience

2009-04-16T19:20:00.002-04:00

We, as people in this day and age, have become accustomed to get things instantaneous. IM, email, web, text, and phone calls to name a few. Information has become almost instantaneous. Life has become instantaneous from the way we travel, the way we have meals, even our interactions with other people have become a form to get to an end.

In my past experiences, I have always had my life planned in advance. But, as everything, life isn't always as one wants. Things change, people change, people break up, you don't get the job you want, etc.

Discussing life with friends about my new course of action with my life, one theme keep on reappearing, Patience. People want to get on with their lives. People have plans on what they want to do but few see what it will take. Be it marriage, a career, or just getting out of their parents home. We all want to do something and soon. But patience is a virtue. It is something we all need, something that cannot just be found but have to learn, and the only way to learn is to wait.

Learn the art of patience. Apply discipline to your thoughts when they become anxious over the outcome of a goal. Impatience breeds anxiety, fear, discouragement and failure. Patience creates confidence, decisiveness, and a rational outlook, which eventually leads to success. -- Bryan Adams

Today, I had to force myself to learn the art of Patience. I was driving to Lancaster, and I kept getting stuck behind people driving under the speed limit. This is something that really gets under my skin since I do not have much patience for it. However, I turned off the radio, reminded myself that I will not be late for my appointment, and took the time to enjoy the beautiful scenery. In taking the time to force myself into a patient mood, things did become clearer.

I was able to enjoy the day and the experiences that I had that day. It is important to enjoy life for the sake of life. Live in the now and enjoy the time you have with others.

Easter

2009-04-12T14:13:00.002-04:00

Easter is the springtime holiday marking the rebirth of Jesus and the renewal of the Christian faith. It is a blessed time for the faithful to celebrate the life, death and resurrection of the Savior... and a magical time for children to enjoy chocolate bunnies, marshmallow chicks and jellybean-filled Easter eggs.

For me, Easter isn't about the Easter Bunny and Candy. It is a time to remember that keeping Jesus in our lives will keep us fulfilled. Who else would give up their lives for us. What a powerful thought that "God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16).

I hope everyone can remember the great sacrifice and miracles this Easter season. I challenge you to thank Jesus and bring Him into your lives.

Here is a prayer that I would like to share:

Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be.

The Wonders of Lightening

2009-04-06T07:19:00.004-04:00

So today I was driving to work and was stressing a bit (okay a lot) about the events scheduled for today. The sun was shinning and then out of nowhere came this lone lightening bolt (similar to the picture just with farm land not water and a sunny day not cloudy). I really thought that I was imagining this image. I mean lightening on a sunny day? But, as I was questioning the lightening bolt, it appeared once more.

With that bolt of lightening, came this astonishing feeling of peace. It seemed surreal. There are almost no words to explain the feeling. But, I felt at peace and had no more worries or concerns. I realized that I can not control life. Life will happen for the good and for what I feel would be the bad. The goal is to embrace life and live life to the fullest. Man I wish I could see this image everyday!

Just like that...

2009-03-25T14:02:00.004-04:00

I'm sad right now, I'm confused and angry and I just don't know what to do. I mean, I tried to watch Beverly Hills Chihuahua and couldn't make it through without crying.

I had an argument with my boyfriend...you know one of those emotionally exhausting ones that end up with breaking up. I am emotionally drained right now from dealing with the death of my dad that still haunts my dreams, my mom and brother pretty much abandoning me on Christmas, and the fact that I have to get tested for cancer. Apparently, I have just been too much of an emotional wreck the last few days and he doesn't want to deal with me. He still loves me and wants to be my friend and take me to the biopsy but only as a friend. I have no idea if this is just a comment said in the heat of the moment, if this mean a temporary break, or if it is something permanent. All I know is that I have been crying non stop for the last 6 hours.

If it is really the end, I don't want to just be friends. I went that route before. I hated every minute of it because it broke my heart on a daily basis.

Should I call him? Give him a day to cool off...two days? Wait for him to call me? Go looking for him? I don't know...I just don't know.

I was having a not so good day, the last thing I needed was my boyfriend to turn on me!ARRRGGGHHHH I'M SO FRUSTRATED. I hate that he can make me feel this way. I hate that I gave him the power to break my heart. I'm sure I hurt him too (he said I use him as a whipping post which I don't agree with). But we have both been through difficult times. Why do people just throw away people they claim to love.

I don't think I believe in love anymore.

I found this poem that I will share...

The moments you see are gloomy, are just like that
The face that you see is tired, is just like that
The eyes that you see are wet, are just like that
The lips that you see are torn, are just like that
I am not sad, its all just like that

The hands you don't touch anymore, are working, just like that
The hair you play with not anymore, are smelling, just like that
The eyes you don't lost in anymore, are looking, just like that
The ears you don't bite anymore, are hearing, just like that
I am not missing you, its all just like that

The dinner is half eaten, the hunger has decreased, just like that
The paintings are half colored, the colors are missing, just like that
The poetry are incomplete, the lines are lost, just like that
The clothes are unwashed, the smell refuses to go just like that
I am not thinking of you, its all just like that

The sea-walks are shorter, I want not to walk, just like that
The ice-cream keeps melting, I feel not enjoying, just like that
The bed is uncreased, I get not sleeps, just like that
The mirror is lonely, I feel not seeing myself, just like that
I am not remembering you, its all just like that

The days are spent at station, just like that
Windows are left open, just like that
Phone is always charged, just like that
Letter box is checked each day, just like that
I am not awaiting you, its all just like that

That roses are stained today
That the breeze is hard today
That the rains are crying today
That the sea is sorrowful today
Its all just like that…..

Clean Up

2009-03-22T20:18:00.002-04:00

Today, my friend and I helped another friend clean up trash in her neighborhood. It really was a sad sight. It was funny too, how there were only four of us working to beautify the neighborhood (two residents and two non residents). It was sad to watch as neighborhood folks just drove by pretending not to see us working hard to clean up the area. We found all sorts of stuff from plastic bags to aluminum cans to used condoms to an old development sign to pieces of a dead dog.

It really saddened me to see how little people care about their homes and environment. How can people be so callous and just throw their trash everywhere? I can only hope that one day, enough people will care to keep the Earth green.

Great Email

2009-03-22T08:42:00.006-04:00

The other day, I came home from an evening with some great friends and my new parents (they just adopted me informally in light of things). Apparently, my face tends to give away lots of information, and so, I had one of the nicest emails in my inbox from a dear friend. I would like to share parts of that email with you because it touched me deeply (I hope the author doesn't mind). I can only hope that each of you will take something from it too.

Tonight, I have been praying for you, loving you up to God a bit because I know you are in pain. I can see it in your face every time I look at you. You are beautiful, and you are sad.

I wish I could take your pain away. But I cannot; I can only sit with you in it, and so that's what I do.

As I prayed for you tonight, I came upon this chapter in Lamentations (a highly underrated book where the writer wails to God and rails against God because of his grief and pain - I recommend that, by the way).

I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,
the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed.
I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—
the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there's one other thing I remember,
and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:
^22-24God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He's all I've got left.
^25-27God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
to the woman who diligently seeks.
It's a good thing to quietly hope,
quietly hope for help from God.
It's a good thing when you're young
to stick it out through the hard times.
^28-30When life is heavy and hard to take,
go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.
Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face.
The "worst" is never the worst.
^31-33Why? Because the Master won't ever
walk out and fail to return.
If he works severely, he also works tenderly.
His stockpiles of loyal love are immense. -- Lamentations 3

My friend, God is good, and God loves you. God is with you in this pain. God sits with you and weeps with you as you grieve.

There are no easy answers, dear Kristy, nothing that you can do in a moment to make all things right. But you can pray (and I pray with you) that you will find peace and hope in every moment.

How true her words are and how touching (English majors are so good with words). I think I have read these words over a hundred times in the last few hours. Each time I read them, I gain a part of my faith back. I must admit, that with everything going on, I have turned away from God.

Today, I am going to bible study and mass with a dear friend. I hope that I can again find peace in knowing that God is with me.

Thank you friend for the wonderfully touching email. I hope all of you can take something from it too. I will keep all of you in my prayers.

Roller Coaster...of life

2009-03-21T09:39:00.003-04:00

I've been on an emotional roller coaster since Christmas Day, and it's taking a major toll on my body. I am always tired. Always. Exercise seems to never happen. I haven't been to the gym in months. I know it would help, but I just can't wake up in the morning - no matter what time I go to bed.

I haven't stepped on a scale in a very long time. I don't want to face it yet. Some of my clothes are getting tighter - my casual jeans don't even button. I'll deal with all of this when I can. I am hoping I will get back on track with training, figure things out with my family, have fun dinner parties, meet new people, make new friends, fall in love and live happily ever after. I don't think that's too much to ask for in a year. Do you? JUST PUTTING IT OUT THERE!

Good Friends, Good Times, Good Food

2009-02-11T09:01:00.003-05:00

Lately, life has not been easy, but then again, when is it? Life is not supposed to be perfect or easy. Life is full of daily challenges that can really push us to the limit. When things get rough, we are so quick to jump to the conclusion that life just isn't fair. I have learned not to dwell on the hardship in life. I have put a lot of time and energy into changing my attitude back to a positive, optimistic one. The journey hasn't been an easy one, but I have some great friends in Cecil County who have helped me along the way. Here are three things that have helped me along the way (yes, I could list more).

Thanks to Jen, I started running again which lead to getting my butt to the gym. Now, me knee feels great again. I can't say that I love running, but I have been able to accomplish running goals that I never thought was possible.

Thanks to Andi, I have gotten into Yoga. I must say that I really enjoy it. My body and soul feel at peace after a session. I hope that I can find some more classes in the area.

Thanks to Kathy, a group of us are getting together at my house for dinner on Wednesday nights. I realized how much I missed just spending time with friends that are important to you. Not to mention, Kathy is helping me learn how to cook. That is always a good thing!

So I have realized that my life is blessed in a way that I can't even imagine. Right now, I am just thankful for the good friends, good times, and good food!